Friday, March 3, 2017

Dylan Roof's supporters in Georgia

Last August, the Roswell Police Department fired an officer for flying the Confederate flag. On Monday, a Georgia judge sentenced two other flag-wavers to more than a decade of prison time each. Neither incident is related to protections under the First Amendment. But both incidents are related to the guns owned by Dylan Roof.

The Roswell police officer said that she didn’t realize that some found the flag to be offensive. By her incredible statement, she thinks that flying the flag doesn’t make a negative statement of any sort. She also said the flag had been flying from her house for over a year.

About a year places the flag on the house just about the time that racist Dylan Roof shot and killed nine people at Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal church, home to the oldest black congregation in the Old South.

The judge, who sentenced the two far more aggressive flag-wavers to decades in prison, declared the duo committed a hate crime during their flag-waving and drinking convoy. The judge went one step further. He questioned why the 15 members of the flag-waving convoy weren’t arrested by police but driven away from the crime scene with the protection of the police. The judge said the flag-waving confrontations were connected to the Charleston shootings using the phrase, not “an accident.”

Both the unthinking police officer’s flag displays and the drunken, terrorist convoy celebrated the Dylan Roof's gunsmoke in Charleston, not the cannon smoke at the Battle of Fort Sumter.

Friday, February 17, 2017

We finished the Wall Press Conference

Almost live from the White House:

Republican President Donald Trump arrives riding a white Charger.

Fox News reports: The President rode in a white Dodge Charger driven by Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

CNN reports: The President was playing with a Tonka toy.

The President walks to the podium and leads the Pressroom reporters in prayer.

Fox News: The President humbled himself before the fake news reporters.

CNN: The President nodded off with his chin on his chest, snoring.

"Good afternoon, Members of the Press and all you others.

Today, I announce completion of the Wall with Mexico but did I mention my exceptional victory in the Electoral College? Most of you others haven't been reporting the truth but I had millions, millions I say, come to my after party. We won by the largest margin ever. I had 307 and half. That Green Party lady got none. Impressive victory.

The Wall. We started the wall right after calling Russian in December. I said, "I'm going to build the wall." Some of you don't remember and didn't report it. Putin has it on tape. So, while you losers were making up stories about Russian. And, Russia is fake. Fake. We built the Wall. That's right. THE Wall.

It's done and no one reported on it. Fake news will say I never built it. But, we did. I did. It's there. Duh!

We have pictures. I'm not going to share them. The fake news won't print them. Honestly. Honest.

My car is running like a well oiled machine. My driver says so. I don't have a mechanic. Don't need one. Nothing breaks while I'm around.

So, I won. It was big. I'm keeping my campaign promises. Counting my votes again. I got more votes than money. Did any one have any questions?"

Fox News reports: The legitimate President's new conference concluded quietly after a brief question and answer period.

CNN reports: As Trump left the pressroom, three reporters were shot with tazers by the Secret Service as Trump giggled like a girl.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Trump Bans

Just released via Twitter for immediate retort:

By executive order, by the power invested in me in the unrigged election where I won the popular vote by 'millions,' the following words are banned.

Ray-ban

Bananas

Slurban

Ameban

Urban

Goban

All these bans are banned until the current Mulban ban is banned. Until then, all words ending in ban will be replaced with Trumpban.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Trump at Work

From a co-worker: The women in the march were single, ugly, and never had a man and never will.

Being work, my response was mild. "Oh no. Most of them were housewives with nothing else to do."

Single Conservative men over the age of 25 with no girlfriends don't get sarcasm.

Trump's accomplishments on first weekend in office

Donald Trump just named MVP of NFC Championship Game.

Afterwards, he played 18 holes of golf and scored 19 holes in one.

Per White House Press release marked, "Alternative facts."

Trump at work

At work. Two of my co-workers told me the Clintons had closed down their 'foundation,' taken down the website, and were shredding documents. They're going to be in prison for the rest of their lives. Trump's keeping his promise to arrest her.

So, being work, my response was mild. 'Oh wow! No shit! You're not kidding me are you?'

No. The website has been taken down.

So I opened the website which is very against policy. 'Hey! It's still working!'

But it doesn't work. Trump has probably seized it to get donor lists. No one can donate now, especially the Saudi Princes.

So, I made a $25 donation while they watched.

Still unconvinced, they began showing me editorial headlines.

So I showed them Snopes.

So they showed me a FoxNews link.

So I read the content to them. On August 22, Bill Clinton announced the downsizing of the Global Initiative, which operates under the Foundation umbrella. All employees had been notified of the coming change to take effect, January 1, 2017.

I had a quiet night at work after that.