Monday, December 30, 2013

Cartoon



Not that funny. But, killing your spouse or child will get you less time in prison than selling dope.

Obama most admired in Gallop Poll

Polls do have purpose, merits, and benefits. Sometimes it's hard to see why.

Gallop has a new poll on "Most Admired."

For 6 years in a row, Americans have identified President Barack Obama as their most admired male. Hillary Clinton has been the most admired woman for 12 years in a row.

Ronald Reagan hasn't gotten an honorable mention since 2003. Our newest Pope looks to be tied for second with former President, George W. Bush. I'd rate the Pope a lot higher than that.

The question was completely open ended. Of all the 6 billion people living today on this planet, who do you admire most? Who would be second? I'd say our President being mentioned by 16% respondents who were given a pool of 6 billion possibilities is something to think about.

Last year, he got 30%. Seems that messing up a web page really hurt.

Is that what we should be comparing with this poll? Here's another version from Gallop.

This shows a better trend.

George W. Bush was the most admired in 7 of his 8 years in office. He's the only President since Nixon who couldn't carry the title for each year in office. Carter only carried 3 of his 4 years in office but he got beat out in the 4th year by Pope John Paul II. I think the Pope should be ahead of everyone. So I'm ignoring Carter's 4th year loss.

Other than Douglas MacAuthur and Pope John Paul, only US Presidents were named as Most Admired. Hillary Clinton has been the 'Most Admired Woman' 18 times in 21 years. Mother Teresa beat her out twice.

What I got out of this poll is that Barack Obama knocked a sitting President off the top of the list. That Bush was less admired by the general public than a Democratic Candidate in 2008.

Democrats, don't write yourselves off. You're more admired than you think.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Pay no attention to the man behind the beard!

“If you simply put your faith in Jesus coming down in flesh, through a human being, God becoming flesh living on the earth, dying on the cross for the sins of the world, being buried, and being raised from the dead—yours and mine and everybody else’s problems will be solved. And the next time we see you, we will say: ‘You are now a brother. Our brother.’ So then we look at you totally different then. See what I’m saying?”


Is it so bad to say that? Nope. It's what comes later that spins my head around and spews pea soup.

"We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.”

How about 'how he sees the popularity of Duck Dynasty as a small corrective to all that we have lost.' That should have been a clue to what was coming. BTW, we lost all those Christian symbols in public spaces and that has diluted those founding principles of a country founded on Christianity. I didn't know that Lincoln used to display Christ on the Cross at Cabinet meetings. Did you? And that Washington guy forcing the mint to put Mother Mary's picture on the 1974 silver dollar. And a white dove on the back. It's just a shame we lost that.

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”

Yeah. It does. Historical revisionism. Only 5 Commandments. Mother Mary never married. Jesus never had a job as a carpenter. It's a sin to have changed that story around. Even making Jesus into a socialistic Black guy.

But, Duck Dude, what do you really thing about?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

He helps us wash that down with a six pack of beer while filming a State Farm ad.

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field.... They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”

Repeat after me: I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. White Trash. White Trash. White Trash. Then hang on for this next line.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

I agree; sin ins't logical. No more than operating a sporting goods store than doesn't sell guns.

Repeat after me: It's not logical. It's not logical. It's not logical. It's the reality of TV.

Read More GQ story link

Rally at the Capitol

Moral Monday GA is organizing many diverse groups for a mass rally at the Capital on Monday, January 13th, from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m., with other activities available earlier in the day. (See the attached poster.)

This is the opening day for the General Assembly, and the Moral Monday GA coalition is pressing Gov. Deal to accept the Medicaid expansion money from the Federal government. (There will be more actions on subsequent Mondays at the Capitol.)

David

See also Moral Monday GA's Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/MoralMondayGA?ref=br_tf.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Fed to taper stimulus

Interest rates are going to rise starting today. I'm hoping that will be a slow and steady rise.

Why?

Here are several links to learn or unlearn more:

Yahoo Link

US News

A European perspective The Telegraph

Forbes

Teflon Deal, Gubinator of Jawhjah

Some where, there is evidence in a brief case or cardboard box which will send Deal to that great retirement home for crooked politicians. Maybe you know it as federal prison. See some details here at the Raw Deal/Story.

As his string of recent crimes are investigated, maybe we should think about Lt. Governor Casey Cagle.

Well, Casey isn't his real name. Stacy. That's it. Stacy.

I filed an ethics complaint against Lt. Governor Stacy Cagle in 2009? I alleged the man committed several state ethic violations by never disclosing all his employment positions. With the help of Donald Bloom, Stacy created a corporation called Strateia Group Atlanta, Inc. Stacy was CEO. Mr. Bloom was Secretary and CFO.

Under Georgia Law, Stacy position as CEO and his ownership position should have been disclosed to voters.

Well, I guess not since he's never done that. Never told people he ran a business consulting firm in Atlanta. Never bought a phone listing. I bet he never printed a business card.

I'm sure Mr. Donald Bloom would correct me if I'm wrong.

But, Stacy did list his position as CEO with the SEC and other regulatory agencies. When he formed a bank in Oakwood, Southern Heritage Bank.

I'm still waiting for Mr. Lt. Governor Lowell Stacy Cagle to respond to me.

Did you issue 1 million shares of stock in that corporation?

Did you file any tax returns?

Did you tell the other organizers of the bank you were a business consultant?

Or, did you tell them, "I operate a bridal shop and tux rental store?"

So while Teflon Deal continues to flirt with retirement, let's look at the possible replacement.

$9.5 Billion in revenue for a tax exempt non-profit organization called the NFL

It's kick off time.

The Falcons want taxpayers to buy them a new stadium. Why not we bought the current one.

I think the National Football League should buy the stadium. With $9.5 billion in revenue last year and a tax exempt non-profit status, I know they have the cash.

Details on how the Waffle House waitress supports NFL owners with her tip income.

From MSN.

Yeah, the article doesn't mention my favorite waitress. Do I need to draw you a line from her pocket to Arthur Blank's?

I didn't think so.

When your in space and the toilet leaks

NASA plans 3 space walks to fix a leaky value on the space station.

Public statements indicate the leak is hurting the cooling system.

Ham radio operators say that's full of it. Because of budget considerations, the space station has only one toilet. Seems that, for some reason involving 'human error,' there has been some 'major blow back' in the system operations.

Various solutions were tried but without a plummer's helpers, the stoppage remains.

Not to worry. As soon as emergency repairs are made, things will be flowing smoothly again. And spewing into space litter.

Link

Guns in school

A few years ago, the Gwinnett County school system expelled a female student for carrying an unloaded gun to school. I remember very few details but my children were in the Gwinnett system at the time.

The word on the street said the young lady didn't want to attend school any more. So, she carried a small caliber semi-auto hand gun to school in her back page. It might have been a .25 or .22 bullet. She whipped it out in front of a teacher knowing the zero tolerance policy on guns.

Wow!

Now in little ol' Hall County, we have law enforcement making random checks at all the schools. I hope the increased presence has some positive effect. Maybe the parents feel better. I would. Maybe someone thinks it will stop another senseless gun worshiping murderer from killing kids.

Maybe.

Despite all the attention being given school security, we're still seeing students carrying guns to school in a back pack Then, killing the innocent before a resource officer or other law enforcement can intervene.

I might need some help here. Any one remember a school shooting being stopped by law enforcement? Don't most of these gun worshiping killers kill themselves?

So we've gone from don't carry a gun to school or you get expelled to the new policy. Carry a gun to school and get shot.

As if that makes sense. Even the most mindless killer expects to get shot, die, or spend life in prison.

Still doesn't stop them.

So my beloved Gainesville School System is arming resource officers with M4 rifles. Story from Access North Georgia.

The cost is somewhere around $3,000.

Wanna bet there's no trauma kit in the school? Nothing more than band aids in the nurse's office? Wanna bet she buys them without being reimbursed?

I'll go further. Wanna bet there's a movement among conservatives to do away with school nurses?

We have money for M4 rifles and biometic gun safes. We don't pay school nurses competitive wages. We don't stock the clinics with band aids. We won't extend Medicaid with a 100% federal subsidy.

Guns or butter has become guns or brains.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Half a billion dollars in Lotto money. May you win it at least in your heart tonight.

Bought my mandatory lotto ticket about 3 hours ago. Had to stand in line. Very nice, very polite group of people. Some ESL speakers let me go ahead of them. The clerk was smiling and wishing everyone luck.

So I took a moment. Did some sort of Zen thing. Reached out whatever passes for my human feeling. Knew that thousands of people were buying tickets. Let myself imagine I had something in common with all of them. Maybe I didn't just imagine that.

Entitlement generation

Ashton Kutcher says some thing on TV. And suddenly, he's a wise man according to conservatives.

This is the actor who played Michael Kelso in That 70's Show. You know, the good looking guy who's not very smart, smokes pot, screws around, gets caught. Sort of sounds like Bill Clinton.

Only Bill Clinton isn't Charlie Sheen replacement on Two and a Half Men. Walden Schmidt! That's the name!

A kind of mindless, entitled internet billionaire who screws around with older women and their daughters. "Walden lived primarily with his mother. Dad popped out of the picture He was raised for the first four years of his life with a baby Gorilla named Magilla.

Bad TV is bad TV. Not Ashton's fault. But saying that the unemployed are worse than anyone with a job? Using the show, Ellen, as a platform, he said, “I think the only thing that can be below you is to not have a job” So what jobs and job holders are better than any one currently unemployed?

So the financial mafia comes to mind. Pimps. President Nixon. Political lobbyists like JACK ABRAMOFF.

Or just anyone on this time line of the Abramoff Scandal.

So why mention any of this?

The Conservative Post calls Kutcher's comments "eye-opening and inspiring."

There are some jobs below me and my personal standards. I'm including any job replacing Charlie Sheen on TV.

Beneath us all to be that social example.

Got another one

A little payback. Not much. Just some.

Got ya!

SAN DIEGO (CNS) – The head of a San Diego mortgage company was sentenced Monday to serve more than three years in prison for creating bogus property purchase agreements that netted him more than $1 million in illicit profits.
In addition to handing down the 41-month custody term to Brian Nels Peterson of San Diego, District Court Judge John Houston ordered him to pay a $50,000 fine and $542,075 in restitution to Citi Mortgage.
Peterson, who ran a firm called Terra Finance, admitted that he devised a scheme to procure mortgage funds through deceptive means, including falsifying income on applications to qualify borrowers for loans.
The company facilitated loans in several San Diego neighborhoods, including the upscale Ivy Gate housing development in 4S Ranch and the Rolling Hills subdivision in southern San Diego County.
In its heyday, Terra Finance generated between $80 million and $100 million worth of residential mortgage loans, according to court documents.
Peterson, who held a state broker’s license, personally signed most of the fraudulent loan applications containing false income, employment, asset and liability information submitted under his license number, prosecutors alleged.
Peterson earned more than $1 million from his fraudulent loan business through broker’s fees, kickbacks from cash-out refinances and other sources in 2006 alone. He admitted that he failed to report that income and evaded taxes by various means, including arranging to be paid in cash.
Peterson also orchestrated fraudulent conduct on the part of employees, borrowers and industry professionals as the head of Terra Finance, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in San Diego.
Peterson recruited a cadre of loan officers, loan processors, office staff, real-estate investors and other industry professionals to participate in his scheme, including appraisers, tax preparers and lender representatives, prosecutors contended.

Did you get the details on that? He created a financial mafia in San Diego.

Prove that you love me and buy the next round.

Just because it's in my head today.

Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
Oh lord won't you buy me a color TV.
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until 3.
So oh lord won't you buy me a color TV.
Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town.
I'm counting on you lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round.
Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town.
Everybody, Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

Congressional Approval Ratings

Nixon was compared with Obama today. At least in approval ratings.

Odd isn't it? Obama is better than Nixon and that is news! 43% for Obama and Nixon is 29%.

How come 14% is suddenly so close we have to think about it?

Did Georgie the 43rd win either of his elections by 14% points? Hell No. He was lucky to win the first one by 14 votes.

So let's compare Congressional approval ratings to Presidential ratings?

Obama 43% and Congress at 14% as an annual average.

So Nixon, perhaps the worst of our recent Presidents, was twice as popular as our current Congress.

That's not how the real world works. That might be how college football teams are selected to post season Bowl Games. But it's not how Congress or the President works.

About half the people in the country are just OK with the President.

About one in seven people are OK with Congress.

We won't let Obama get elected again but we will re-elect 90% of the village idiots already in Congress.

Gallop

Just for comparison, here's a recent Gallop poll on how history will view Presidents.


I am not a crook!

Friday, December 13, 2013

Changing mortgages

We can expect mortgages rates to continue a slow rise over the few weeks. But, I'm predicting nothing beyond March. Currently, there's no cause for alarm as high-LTV loan programs end. These programs were 97% Loan to Value. We will still have the FHA stand-by of 96.5% LTV. Conventional loans are 95% LTV.

We will still have two important no money down programs, USDA and VA loans.

LTV is a cash issue for buyers. So are closing costs, escrows, inspections, and appraisals. Perhaps as we deal with more regulatory changes, we will learn new ways to lower closing costs or reduce the cash needed to close.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Waste in Defense spending

I am stealing content from Fox News! Say it ain't so, Joe.

The government does have a budget. In my opinion, it has three parts.

Number One: The trust funds holding trillions for social programs.

Number Two: Existing programs already funded by previous budgets which must by law continue to be funded unless action is taken to unfund the programs.

Number Three: Discretionary spending.

That would be programs rolling over which must be voted through the legislature, funded on the budget, and signed into law by the President PLUS new spending programs.

If we eliminated Number One from consideration, defense is the largest spending item and there fore the largest source of debt.

If we examine Number Three, defense spending will be more than 51% of the new spending programs next budget year.

Even Fox News admits defense spending is wasteful if not frivilous.

Check out this link on Bush's secret Afghanistanian Air Force.

Hint perhaps a spoiler: It's not in the air.

It's on the ground in Europe, paid for. Rotting away and no longer able to fly.

I wonder which Conservative Republicans voted for that disaster.

How did this happen? Before Obama became President, some crack head in the DOD gave half a billion dollars to a private industry company to rebuild some old planes and supply replacement parts.

What happened? The refurbished planes were crap and needed replacement parts to fly.

Where were the replacement parts? The private industry company didn't have any.

How is that possible for someone to get paid for planes which can't fly and invisible parts?

Ask a Republican. The planes will be disposed off either by us, the environment, or someone 'over there.'

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Got ya!

Here's a story dear to my heart. Mortgage fraud hasn't stopped. Too bad we're only chasing down the little idiots and not the Wall Street idiots.

Seems to me since the big idiots all have the same address ... we could get them all at once.

A federal agent pleaded guilty Friday in connection to a mortgage fraud scheme.

Jeffrey Morriss, 48, a Kansas City, Mo., Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, admitted to lying to an FBI agent about the scheme, according to a report in the Kansas City Star.

Prosecutors say that Morriss lied about his child support payments, debt and monthly income on loan applications. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Morriss submitted four fraudulent applications for loans on three houses between 2007 and 2012. Morriss obtained loans for $812,000, but didn’t make full payments on the loans, the Post-Dispatch reported. The homes were foreclosed upon.

When Morriss was questioned by an FBI agent about a 2011 application, he blamed a bank employee, claiming the employee mistyped the information, according to the Star.

If Morriss’ plea agreement is accepted, he would be sentenced to three years’ probation and made to pay $12,794 in restitution.

Today's market commentary

So boring but here's what daily commentary on what's happening in finance.




Tuesday
December 10, 2013

10-YEAR NOTES 99-14 (+11) 2.814%
FN 3.5% COUPON 100-08.5 (+12)
SUPPORT 3.00%
RESISTANCE 2.45%

Overnight, the market saw better buyers and the curve flattening continued. In the U.S., the market is opening up and 2s10s is 4.5 bps flatter. MBS are 1-3 tics tighter with UIC outperforming after underperforming yesterday. The big news today was the announcement by the FHFA to increase g-fees by 10 bps on all 30-Year mortgages as well as changing LLPAs to better reflect credit risk. These fees will go into effect in March/April of 2014 for Cash/Pools. On the taper front, Bullard spoke in St. Louis yesterday and was quoted as saying "a small taper [in December] might recognize labor market improvement while still providing the Fed the opportunity to carefully monitor inflation during the first half of 2014". As market participants attempt to discern whether the Fed tapers in December, January or March it appears the market is setup to handle any/all of the above based on the size of the taper. Regardless of how much the Fed begins to taper, they will still be taking down more than the supply and as long as the market is comfortable with the speed/trajectory and with inflation levels it appears we might be able to get an orderly exit (given the price action post payrolls). The more difficult time will be in 2H14 when the technicals of the Fed vs. Origination begin to skew toward the Origination side of the equation assuming we are still near historic tights on the current coupon basis vs. 10-Yrs.

At 11:00 AM EST there is a UST buyback in the 1/18-2/43 TIPS and at 1:00 PM EST there is a $30 billion 3-Year note auction.

Yes, I read this stuff.

MBS stands for Mortgage Backed Securities

The rest of the alphabet jargon goes over my head.

My take on it? Mortgage rates are going up. Interest rates on US 10 year bonds are going up. Lots of people expect the FED to taper off on it's support for low rates. Me, too.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Hans Solo Blaster

I want one and it seems the only one known to exist is for sale.

Star Wars

But can I conceal carry it? I wouldn't do it. I'd holster that sucker and waddle like a Hero. Well, any Star Wars hero except Reagan.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

No duty to retreat

Is it fear that moves a homeowner to shoot another human being?

No.

I can prove it. I hate being able to prove it. I want to think more of my fellow man.

Here's the story.

A 72 year old man with Alzheimers gets lost. Happens a lot. Too often. It's the middle of the night. It's cold and dark. He wanders towards a house with a porch light on. Knocks on the door. The homeowner won't answer the door. The homeowner calls the cops. Can't wait for the cops. Gets a gun. Shoots the 72 year old man to death.

We wouldn't do that to a dog. Even a Mad Dog.

Think about it. We just shot him.

We just shot him. We don't really know why. Afterwards, the shooter can't explain it. But, at the time, it seemed like a really good idea to leave a warm, safe place. Go outside with a gun but without a flash light. And shoot.



It didn't make much news. And, the shooter won't go to jail. Won't be charged with a crime. Because that old man was dangerous. A threat to kill people. In the opinion of a gun owner.

But, can you provide me a story about a gun owner leaving the safety of a house to shoot a rabid dog?

When we see a dog in our yard, we stay inside. We call the cops. We wait for them.



It's not fear that motivates a gun owner to shoot a person. If fear made us grab a gun, walk out into the cold dark, and shoot ... we would shoot rabid animals.

Stand Your Ground gun laws and No Duty to Retreat Laws? Those create an open season on humans. A 007 license to kill people.



Read the story at No Duty to Retreat.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thanksgiving

It's important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and sometimes are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring and loving thoughts right now.

May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares.

Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will! I did it for a friend and you can too! (You have to copy & paste this one, no sharing)

I saw this on a friends Facebook page. So in keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, I've stolen it to repost here.

Like many people, I wanted to say something about this time of year. Nothing authentic seemed available within me.

So many religions have celebrations including our general Thanksgiving. Two of my Islamic friends are celebrating their special end of year or beginning of year events. I don't want to sound like I know enough to name those. I'm not that smart or wise.

Just everyone take a deep breath. Hold it in. Close your eyes and think, "This could be my last breath." Then, open your eyes. Breath out.

You don't have to do anything with the energy from a last breath, but you can. You can.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

It was a Saturday morning. My wife and I were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC. I had on shorts and flip flops. Something under the dash brushed my left leg. I looked down. “Damn car is falling apart! Look at that bundle of wires that just fell out of the dash.” That's what I thought. Really. "Gosh Darn Detroit and Tokyo, too." I started to reach for the thing and it MOVES!

Rather smoothly with no trace of anxiety I turned to my bride of 35 years and said, "Would you mind taking the wheel? CAUSE THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE CAR AND I GOTTA GOOOOOooooooo!"

You know 'that' woman didn't believe me. She thought it was another one of my tricks to make her drive so I could take a nap!

I had to grab the darn thing and hand it to her before she got serious. The wheel. NOT the snake. When I say, Take the wheel ... I mean take the wheel!

Like I was going to grab up under the dash to get a snake while doing a hundred and five. Hell. I didn't know my car could still do a hundred. Need to scare the carburetor more often.

So there I am, sitting in the backseat watching my wife Susan drive from the passenger seat. Dang. That was fun to watch. Glad the cruise control was set. I had a short conversation with my Maker while Susan did the Apache fertility and rain dance in her bucket seat.

If the dang snake had had any common sense, it would have tapped the brakes.

Pulled over at a gas station and did the Fill'er up and Check under the hood pantomime to the attendant. And, “Oh, would you mind ever so much to get the snake out of the dash?” Alas, there just no full service gas stations left.

Spent a good ten minutes sticking my feet out of the window while poking my left hand into all the hidden nooks behind the dash. Seriously, would you have used your right hand or your left hand to cover your mouth so you wouldn't scream like a girl every 3 seconds?

I learned that my wife can still scream "Get it out!" as loud now as she did that night 30 years ago when our first child was born weighing 11 pounds. The only difference was that this time I shared her sense of urgency.

Does the owners manual have a chapter on removing reptiles? Oh Heck NO!. I am going to write Nissan about that. It needs to go right after the section for removing dead cats from the alternator belt.

After 10 minutes the snake wasn't through with 'Hide n Seek.' So we came up with plan B. BURN THE CAR!

Plan C was to get back in the car and start driving again. Lull the snake into a false sense of security then grab it, beat it to death with a shoe, THEN burn the car just in case snakes are like cats and hide from humans to give birth.

Started back on the road with Susan doing the Lotus position. Me? I was the bait waiting for "Death" to grab my ankles again.

After about 10 miles, Susan says, "Turn the heat on."

I was only kidding about burning the car. After a "heated discussion," my wife got the honor of turning off my A/C and turning on the heat to drive The Serpent from it's hiding place.

Those who are old enough to remember the pleasures of 260 air conditioning, it hasn't changed any.

It just as hot driving 60 with 2 windows down as it is driving 60 with no windows down.

Slowly, the snake crawled out of the steering column trying to reach the A/C controls. Silly me. I snatched his wittle neck before he hit the ON button. My wife celebrated the capture with another chorus of “GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!”

Now things were really getting getting serious. I had my right hand on the steering wheel. A snake in my left hand. And, my wife was having flash backs to the birth of our second child who weighted a nice 11 pounds FIVE ounces. She never lets me forget about those five extra ounces of masculinity she produced just for me, her loving husband.

Despite the nearly over whelming desire to let go off the steering wheel to turn on the A/C, I guided the car safely to the next exit with a Love's Travel Center. Not only does the Love's chain of Travel Centers have the best gasoline prices and the cleanest restrooms, they also have showers.

Sometimes without a waiting list.

I pulled the car under the shade of the fueling island and discovered that the back half of the snake didn't really want to be evicted without proper legal notice. Do you know how to convince a snake's ass let go of the airbag?

Trust me. You don't want to just give it a sharp jerk. In the new owners manual, the manufacturer will provide graphic evidence that it is better to slowly remove reptiles in one piece than it is to clean up several sections of snake guts.

My arson trial starts in 3 weeks. I'm pleading self-defense.

Nightmares

When I'm not having night mares about Republicans, I have those regular ol' nightmares about snakes.

Last night, I dreamed a snake had laid eggs in my throat and the little crawlers were hatching.

In a panic, I ripped my throat out. That was a mistake. Did you know you can't scream without a throat?

All I could do was stagger out into the street covered with blood and baby snakes, holding the bloody mass that had been my throat.

Lucky for me, my neighbors are used to seeing me in worse shape. Even when I'm not dreaming. They speed dialed 911 for me. Again.

The ambulance was there quickly. I think they have my address pre-set in their GPS even in my nightmares. By the time the EMTs got me to Northeast Georgia Medical Center, three of the little vipers had been adopted. EMTs are very compassionate like that

I have to admit they were cute, too. The baby vipers not the EMTs.

I'm keeping the runt of the litter.

At the ER, Nurse Debbie and Doctor Bob got me into a treatment room right away. Sometimes, I think there is someone going on between those two. Heck, that room can't always be open just for me and my nightmares. I'll have to ask when I get my voice back.

Some Ob/Gyn came in to check on my progress. He said a natural delivery should have been done instead of that messy C-Section. He went on to say that with my big mouth, he could deliver a small truck and the Gettysburg address at the same time.

I thought about giving him a piece of my mind. He looked like that type who would put it in a glass jar and keep it in his office.

The customer service rep came in with a clip board asking me about my insurance coverage. I told her I had United Healthcare and she made an ugly face. I wasn’t really in the mood for that kind of judgmental body language. Wouldn't have bothered me at all, or it shouldn't have. After all, I had ripped my own throat out. But, still, she didn't have to be rude.

She enjoyed telling me that United Healthcare doesn't cover birthing no baby snakes at Northeast Georgia.

I qualified for Emergency Obamacare. It kicks in the year 2013 instead of 2014. I felt very lucky.

Things were winding down and I was feeling some of that post-partum blues when the Mother's attorney came in. She was suing me for custody and support and wanted a college scholarship fund.

I hope they like Georgia Tech.

I tried getting them into UGA but only Tech takes native born snakes.

Finally, my wife shocked me awake with a cattle prod. Sometimes a good nightmare is hard to leave. Last time, she used 110 volts. That left a scar!

She was rather PO'd at me again. Said I left the garage door up, my fishing poles on the deck, and my muddy boots in the closet. I'm smart enough after 35 years of marriage to say, "I'm sorry, Hun. I was kind of tired. I'll clean it up right now.

By the way, do you know where I put the worms?"

Friday, November 22, 2013

Red Rabbit, public transportation in Hall County

Hall County's Public transportation system is known as the Red Rabbit.

The Hall County Board of Commissioners hate it. Have been trying to destroy it. Nearly did so by raising ticket prices, cutting out free transfers, and reducing routes.

They really couldn't find a reason to do that except that the system didn't benefit county taxpayers, just people in Gainesville.

Odd. All people within Hall County pay taxes into the general funds, sales taxes which go to the county, and versions of SPLOST.

So the citizens of Gainesville were and are paying county taxes and getting nothing. Hall County was complaining about them being 'free riders.' That's sort of an economic term which fits really good in this transportation context.

So the city took over the Red Rabbit.

I'm damn glad.

See this link to the Gainesville Times for the success story.

Take a good look at the rider who blesses God for the Red Rabbit. Using a taxi would cost that man $20 a ride. The Red Rabbit, no more than a dollar each ride.


To me, that $19 difference is going to be spent with local merchants for food, clothes, medicine. If it goes to the taxi company? Tires, oil, gas ....

Charles Manson getting married

Yes, THAT Charles Manson.

Link

The GOP mantra of 'Marraige should be between a man and a woman.' has become "Marraige should be between a 79 year old convicted felon serving a life sentence and a 25 year woman named Star.'

Neither works for me.

Republican propaganda in Hall County

There's going to be a Brown Pants meeting on Monday.

Hall County's Congressman, Empty Suit, has organized a "Field Hearing" on Obamacare.

Why is it called a field hearing? Because they found the witnesses and evidence in a field of cow pies.

In a more serious tone, the Committee on Oversight and Government sponsored the event. Oh, the irony of House Republicans having a committee to oversee themselves. Do they understand there's no such legislation creating Obamacare? It's called the Affordable Care Act or ACA.

Who does monitor the 'monitors?' Who is making sure they make no mistakes.

The Republican answer to that age old question is, "We are!"

The Committee on Oversight maintains a website. Here's the page on the Gainesville/Hall County field hearing.

The link don't work. There's no way to preview witness and testimony documents or see the topics. Not even an agenda.

However, Congressman Empty Suit has bombarded me with emails. Excuse me. Propaganda.

Here's my pre-view:

I hate Obama.
I hate his wife.
I hate his kids.
I hate the color of his skin.

He was born in Kenya.
He faked a short form birth certificate.
He was appointed to office by the Liberal controlled Mainstream media conspiracy to convert 'America' to a Marxist Minority Majority.

Yawn.

Where's my oversight committee? It's ME!

BTW, Empty Suit is a 'native born' name given to the 9th District Congressman. Dumb Ass was taken.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

I could never be a Congressman

Very few good and decent people want to be in Congress. It's a challenging job under tremendous stress. Being a Congressional candidate forces a new perspective on life.

But, here's a story about a Congressman who 'made the grade' and got elected to the House of Representatives, Harry "Fray" Redao.

Harry "Fray" over came life within a family with a history of addictive behavior. His 3rd cousin on his Mother's side of the family was addicted to internet porn until finding pictures of his parents online in a Swingers Club ad.

His half sister used make-up daily, unable to leave the house without a hit of Mary Kay.

His paternal Great Grandfather died after years of inhaling the Black Horse, sub-bituminous coal dust. He was deep into it for years despite his family's urges to quit before he died under the crushing weight of his dependency.

Congressman Redao admitted being a life long addiction to Tea in 2012 before being elected to his first term. He was working with the Tea Party in their 12 Step Program to Nullification.

Tuesday, Redao confessed to other addictions. He had been arrested quietly by the DEA for buying under cover cocaine. Redao, seeing this arrest as the opportunity to get help, took the DEA agents to his Washingtonian apartment.

There Redao gave up his stash of White Powder, 12 bottles of Budweiser, and 6 empty boxes of Sue-da-fed, pseudoepiauditine.

The DEA agents were shocked and touched by the confession. Instead of a public arrest and humiliation, the agents quietly gave Redao a misdemeanor citation.

On Tuesday, Redao committed allocution in open court winning a year's probation and time off from Congress.

If only other people knew the secret burdens borne by brave Tea Partiers in Congress, then we all could be proud.

For a real life story based on this fiction story, follow this link.

This story has no connection to reality or any self serving politician currently on leave from Congress for alcoholism, sex addiction, or legislating under the influence (of a lobbyist).

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

End the Fed now! Or, yesterday works good, too.

I'm a fan of a stable currency, low inflation, and low interest rates.

Not everyone.

There are a few people who would strip power from our centralized banking system. I don't know who would set currency value, currency inventory, or interest rates. My personal guess would be Guido the Killer Pimp and his brother Bob the Loan Shark. If there's a bank in every dark alley, I guess we won't need a central bank.

Anyway, here's a good link to a discussion on currency value. At least the value of my favorite currency, the US dollar!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

How not to win an argument against gun control

Just read the link.

For the stock market geek in all of us!

I can't make this stuff up.

Overnight, the market sold-off led by 5s and 7s after the German Zew Survey came in strong.

In the U.S., the market is down slightly and the belly continues to underperform with 2s10s 1 bps steeper while 2s5s is 2 bps steeper. MBS put in a strong showing yesterday as a lack of supply coupled with continued Fed buying left the Street short bonds and took the belly 4 tics tighter. Today, current coupons are another 2 tics tighter and there isn't any economic data to digest until tomorrow.

What did I get out of that?

Some family went to the Berlin Zoo and counted the animals 2 x 2. Because it cost so much, there is belt tightening. Unless they have some coupons for fast food, they will be hungry tomorrow.

That could be Major Bull Shit.

How to win an argument with a gun nut

1. Be sure they are not armed
2. Be sure you have trained medical professionals standing by
3. Don't start the argument in a state with Stand Your Ground in verbal arguments laws.
4. Be sure you are not related to the nut
5. Check their Facebook status during the friendly discussion
6. Keep your hands in plain sight
7. Make no sudden movements including the classic eye rolling
8. Have the sun at your back
9. Avoid standing in the middle of Main street at High Noon within sight of a clock tower

and last of all,

Beat them to death with a wet piece of French toast before they can draw their concealed carry weapon.

If you follow these instructions with a pure heart, you may survive.

Braves leaving Atlanta UPDATE!

The story on the former Atlanta Braves continue today.

As most of the world knows, Mortgomery has lured the Braves organization to Alabama. Atlanta Mayor Hussain Reedy has kissed them good bye and wished them the best of luck.

The Jawhjaw Goobernator, Don E. Deals, expressed his opinion that Mortgomery is just an extension of Atlanta. I couldn’t follow his logic. But, it seems we build and finance all the double wides in Alabama. As if that isn’t enough, we get half of our tax dollars through toll roads crossing the border. The other half comes from Uncle Sam.

But the breaking news isn’t from soon to be indicted Goobers. It’s those Tea Party Goobers.

They have a three part plan to stop the move.

1. Complain about it on all the talk radio stations.

2. Promise that un-Constitutional taxes will rise. Some where.

3. Nullification.

Self appointed Tea Party President, Doona Dana Dooly, gave a hand written statement to the media. It was written in cursive. Stating that the devil was in the details, she said, “They are going to raise property taxes.”

Or at least that’s what the handwriting experts think she wrote. It could have said, “Curds and Whey always raise bubble asses.”

For other rambling details see the story at Access North Jawhjah.






Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Finding the uninsured



Like we couldn't guess. Right to Work States. Republican dominated states. Former Confederate States. I could go on and on and on with descriptive terms. I don't want to do that anymore.


Link

The Big Picture on Part Time Job Growth caused by the ACA

Since I'm stealing content today, I might as link to the source.

Bottom line from the article?

Part time employment has been increasing since 2007.

That's before anyone had coined the term, Obamacare.

It's before Obama earned the Democratic Party nomination for President.

It's before anyone had heard of Sarah Palin.

Long Term Unemployed as a percentage of all unemployed

About that 'spending problem' in the Obama White House

Michelle isn't exactly buying groceries herself.

The girls don't have a concierge service for iTunes.

But the rumors fly that our country spends money like a drunken sailor.

Here's a link to a serious evaluation of spending, including those funny little charts made so famous by Ross Perot.

Braves leaving Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, State officials comment.

At a press conference today, when asked about the Braves moving to Mortgomery, Jawhjah Goobernator Don E. Deals, commented on the Veterans Day announcement.

“My administration counts this deal as one of the most successful yet. We were able to work under extremely difficult conditions in smoke filled bath rooms. Despite constant interruptions by hookers, exotic dancers, and other lobbyists, we kept the public uninformed and by passed needless second guessing.

“Timing of the announcement was critical. It could not be done during the ball season. We could not have it interrupt free agency offers for Brian McCayne. We can never punish the job producers like sports agents, entourages, and the Hair Club for Men.

“By announcing on Veterans Day, not only did we avoid the Gotcha Mainstream Media’s harassment, most God loving, patriotic, and decent Americans were giving thanks for their heroes.

“And that is how it should be. Some had to die in foreign lands, protecting our way of life and democratic government. While they died, business had to go on. Even if it had to be done in public.

“Going forward in Jawhjah, we expect to outsource more of our economic engines to Podunk places in public private partnerships provided profit permits.”


Monday, November 11, 2013

The Atlanta Braves are moving to Montgomery Alabama. Tomorrow.

The former Atlanta Braves announced a public private partnership with Mortgomery, Alabama in a press conference today.

A Braves spokes-model said, "Due to the increased healthcare costs under Obamacare, we have been forced to move the franchise to a third world country."

Mortgomery Mayor, Todd B. Strange, confirmed the move. "We have been in discussions via Twits for 5 hours. When the Braves' 19.995 year lease with Atlanta expires, they will leave Atlanta for Mortgomery. The final logistics are being worked out but we believe we have enough school buses to transport the team.

"Our prison system will supply the labor needed to refurbish our Little League Baseball diamond. We expect this free labor will save us enough to build a concession stand behind home plate. If not, we will be forced to increase sales taxes on the 32 oz. Big Gulp at the Hop In Convenience Stores throughout the state."

When asked about the limited accommodations in Third World countries like Alabama and Cobb County. the Braves spokes-model acknowledged the shortage of double wides. "We are working with another Third World country, New Orleans, to purchase previously loved, portable FEMA housing.

"The new stadium will will offer the best in box seating through corporate sponsorship with Ace Hardware. The boxed seating will be available in three levels:

Corrugated level with the standard green and white lawn chair, a bottle opener, and two paper plates.

Crate level with the folding camper chair, two Braves logo koozies, a bottle opener, 4 napkins, and two paper plates.

U-Haul level with two folding tree stand seats, an eight pound bag of ice, a combination bottle opener/can opener, two sets of plastic ware, and souvenir quality plastic plates."

Expect breaking updates via your personal Twits account.

Friday, November 8, 2013

More economics by Idiots

All economic theories have flaws. Some even have warts, missing front teeth, and body odor.

Among the worst theories, are the lame ones proposed by Libertarians under the general label, market.

Libertarians will use their personal versions of market theory as an apology for the excesses of capitalism. If they are engaged in discussion, sooner or later Marxism will be tossed into the discussion.

When we can't support a system, attacking another system destroys credibility.

And we don't see this in ourselves.

So, the market system of economic distribution is perfect compared to flawed human understanding of anything else.

That is the argument.

Ten things you need to know about Jason Carter.

Jason Carter, the eldest grandson of President Jimmy Carter, threw his name into the 2014 Georgia governor’s race Thursday. The 38-year-old Democratic state senator will challenge first-term Republican Gov. Nathan Deal. He’ll be running to turn blue a Deep South state that voted 53.4 percent for Mitt Romney in 2012, but party leaders are already lauding him as Democrats’ best shot at a competitive race. Here are 10 things you should know about Jason Carter:

1. He served in the Peace Corps. After graduating from Duke in 1997, he followed his grandmother’s footsteps and spent two years in the Peace Corps. He lived in Lochiel, South Africa, where we worked on education issues in rural areas hardest hit by apartheid. He learned to speak Zulu and Siswati.

2. He’s a ninth generation Georgian. Carter was born at Emory Hospital in Georgia’s 42nd District, and now lives in DeKalb County.

(Also on POLITICO: Dems see Carter grandson as 'a star')

3. He’s not stepping down from his state Senate seat. This means he can’t raise campaign funds until the end of the legislative season in the spring. He told the Atlanta-Journal Constitution “there’s too many debates and discussions we have to have in the Senate to quit because of political fundraising.”

4. He’s the first Carter to win an elected office following his grandfather. Carter’s dad, Jack, ran for a U.S. Senate seat in 2006, but lost to Sen. John Ensign in Nevada. Jason’s 2010 state Senate victory was the first for the family in over three decades. He’s the first Carter grandchild to seek office.

5. He’s represented NFL players. As a lawyer for Bondurant Mixson & Elmore, Carter helped the National Football League Players Association on a claim allegedly arising out of the NFLPA’s Financial Advisors Program.

6. He loves his barbecue. The senator has been known to tweet about Atlanta’s Fox Bros. BBQ, which in turn promoted his gubernatorial campaign on its Facebook page.

7. He wrote a book published by National Geographic. “Power Lines,” published in 2003, details the racial divides he experienced in South Africa while living near the Swaziland border. His grandfather wrote the introduction.

8. He has grandpa on his side. The former president has publicly supported his campaign for governor, and once campaigned on foot with the former first lady for the state Senate campaign.

9. He’s a voting rights advocate. As a lawyer, he did pro bono work on a legal challenge to a Republican-backed voter ID law. The service earned him the Stuart Eizenstat Young Lawyer Award from the Anti-Defamation League.

10. He’s married to a journalist. Carter’s wife, Kate, now a high school teacher, was an award-winning journalist at the Athens Banner-Herald. She also taught English in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. The couple has two sons, Henry and Thomas, ages 7 and 4, and his Twitter bio lists him as “daddy.”

The credit goes to the following:

link

What's wrong with market theories as the basis for economic policy?

For 'market theory' to work, all transactions must be between two perfect people with perfect knowledge and with the freedom not to inter into a transaction involving an item with infinite shelf life for which there are unlimited substitutes available from an infinite number of other possible sources.

Well, apart from a need for every one and everything to be perfect, markets work perfectly. Just like Obamacare.

Just a little more detail on what it takes to have a 'market.'

Infinite buyers and sellers – An infinite number of consumers with the willingness and ability to buy the product at a certain price, and infinite producers with the willingness and ability to supply the product at a certain price.

Zero entry and exit barriers – A lack of entry and exit barriers makes it extremely easy to enter or exit a perfectly competitive market.

Perfect factor mobility – In the long run factors of production are perfectly mobile, allowing free long term adjustments to changing market conditions.

Perfect information - All consumers and producers are assumed to have perfect knowledge of price, utility, quality and production methods of products.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

For the younger generation and every one opposed to cell phones in public places

A friend of a friend mentioned cell phone etiquette "hell" today. We all seem to live there. So what is the proper response when a stranger starts a personal conversation on their cell phone while using the only stall in a public restroom while you're waiting 3rd in line?

I'm voting for this response. Suddenly, and in a loud voice, say, "If I have to wait much longer, I'm going to go in the sink!"

Isn't it bad enough that people drive while texting/sexting/talking? Must we tweet on the toilet? I mean if you're tweeting for more toilet paper, expect to lose a few friends. Real friends will help you move furniture but there's no category of friend who will help with your bowel movements.

If I were really a good writer with no etiquette at all, I'd mention that we all face a paperless future. Gladly, I'm just a hack writer.

For more on cell phone etiquette, here's a great link to The Awl and it's great story by Robet Lanham, 'Your Phone Is Ruining You For Us.'

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Post-war Communist plots to destroy the United States

I knew I was behind on the conspiracy theories. Might have to start a list.

The moon landing was staged by Orson Welles.

FDR planned WW2 with help from Dick Cheney's father.

Bush flew one of the airplanes into the Twin Towers beaming back to the Florida kindergarten class just before impact.

Kennedy was accidentally shot by the Secret Service on November 21 and they staged the Dallas assassination as a cover up framing Oswald.

Martians purchased our world on a Time Sharing Plan in 1945 promising to pay with alien technologies. The first payment was the high frequency transistor. In 1975, it was the BetaMax format video recording system. In 1985, they attempted to pay with New Coke nearly causing the 1st Interstellar foreclosure. President Ronald Reagan later accepted the Windows computer operating system and a bag of jelly beans in a harsh settlement.

But, the conspiracy theory that I've been missing?

"Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face."

Nope. I couldn't make it up. I heard this yesterday.

"You know when fluoridation first began? Nineteen hundred and forty-six. 1946. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works."

Shocked! I thought Obama was the Numberal Uno Pinko Communist threat to the country. All this time it was fluoride!

"Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water? Vodka, that’s what they drink . . . on no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not without good reason. Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, children's ice cream!"

Up until my newest best friend forever brought in "Ice cream, children's ice cream," I thought he was pulling my leg. No body messes with ice cream and children. Not in America!

So just like my friend, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

Later today, I will be filing a patent request. I've invented a urine test for fluoride. It's a do it yourself test. If you've been 'infiltrated with Communist Fluoride,' your 'wee' will look Pink and glow in the dark.

If nothing else, it will put an end to public urination.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's a walk in the park!

Georgia state law requires all cities to give full access to gun toting idgits.

I couldn't make it up. The City of Gainesville has been forced to re-write its laws to allow guns into its parks.

How about that?

Here's a link to a story on why your kids will be facing the real life version of Yosemite Sam at the playground.

Halloween prank

Today is Halloween of course.

Our office had dress up day. Soooo .... being who I am, I dressed up as a professional mortgage loan officer.

They thought I was a Republican Congressman.

It scared the Hell out of everyone. How childish. Not my co-workers. Republican Congressboys.

Friday, October 25, 2013

If corporations are people, tax them like people!

There's an article out of USA Today about corporate tax rates.

Yes, the maximum corporate tax rate is 35%. I don't know exactly where the US ranks in corporate taxation, but I bet our maximum tax rate has us in the top ten world wide.

But, corporations don't pay the maximum. The average for corporations were 12.6% in 2010. Wish I was taxed at that average rate.

Think about it in rough numbers. If you make $8,700, your tax bracket is 15%. That's for a single filer in 2013.

Are you making over $36,000, you're in the 25% tax bracket. That's $9,000 leaving you $27,000 to live on.

That's just federal taxes. I'm not adding in Georgia's 6 percent income taxes or the 7 percent withholding for Social Security.

Here's a cut and paste from the article.

The news comes months after after the Government Accountability Office released a report showing that companies in 2010 reported an average effective tax rate of 12.6%, well below the 35% federal corporate tax rate.

Corporate giants such as telecom firm Verizon, drugmaker Bristol-Myers Squibb and power management firm Eaton, all reported effective tax rates of 0% during the past 12 months.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

There's a gun to my head! IRS agents have machine guns and are forcing me to pay taxes!

Back to this little irrational theme.

Let's say I stop making my mortgage payments. I'll go through the same hoops as not paying my taxes.

The bank sends me a few messages. If I don't reply, I start getting some personal attention. If I still don't reply, I get a default notice. If I still don't reply and don't pay. I get a notice that my home is going to be seized and sold to the highest bidder. Which will be the bank holding my mortgage 90% of the time.

My house gets sold. I get an eviction notice. If I continue to squat in the house, I get evicted by the new owner.

Maybe a law enforcement officer wearing a gun and driving a car with a trunk full of guns helps keep the peace during the eviction.

If I resist, I don't usually get shot. But, if I get violent, I could get dead.

That doesn't mean the bank is holding a gun to my head forcing me to pay my mortgage on time.

So the wackos who think the IRS has a gun to their heads will say, "I don't have a choice in government. I do have choices in the market place."

No. You can't change to a bank that doesn't expect you to pay.

This whole thing about a deadly threat forces tax payment is bullshit.

When the IRS starts executing delinquent tax payers on the street, I'll change my mind.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Ronald Reagan quotes. Timeless.

"It's possible we did, but I don't recall."

"I wouldn't know."

"I don't recall."

"[S]ometimes I kind of ran for cover and was very happy to duck a committee duty in these matters."

"I don't honesty recall."

"I don't recall."

"I have no recollection of this particularly."

"I wouldn't be able to tell you."

"[M]y memory is like a kaleidoscope.

"To tell you of my own memory, in my mind I can tell you whether we did nor not, I can't. I don't really recall."

" I don't know what you are getting at with the question."

"There you have me. I wouldn't know where we cracked that and if you tell me I'll have to take your word for it."

"Well, maybe the fact that I married ... and went on a honeymoon had something to do with my being a little bit hazy."

"I don't recall ... [because] I was up in Glacier park making a cowboy picture."



He has something in common with me. I don't recall him being a great man. Not in my memory. Honestly. I can't. Not even hazy.




All the quotes are taken from his sworn testimony before a Grand Jury in 1962.
What if Aliens from Mars invaded America? Would they use drones to control us? Monitor our cell phones? Wear body armor when patrolling our streets? Cover their eyes with protective glasses? Live in isolated compounds? Move in convoys? Would they look so out of place that we could spot them no matter how hard they tried to camouflage themselves?

So why when we invade another country do we expect to be welcomed?


Stop playing Space Invaders and just cut 'defense' spending to defense levels!

Be very, very quiet!

More on the Gun to my Head crowd. Just a quick one.

If I felt an invisible gun to my head, saw an invisible man, and heard voices in my head saying, "Pay your taxes or Die!'
I wouldn't be telling people about it.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"A Gun to my Head!"

I’m reluctant to write this since the school shooting in Nevada. My apology to anyone offended by the timing.

Seems there has been a invisible gun pointed at my head for years by the federal government. Or, I’ve been too much of a ‘libtard’ to see this lethal threat.

Anyway, the government has been taking money from conservatives with a gun.

Now, I’ve never seen anyone robbed like this. But, I haven’t seen anyone robbed with a knife or a big rock. I don’t even know if muggers use big rocks. I’m thinking that if I haven’t seen the government robbing people at gun point, I might have missed out on the proper use of a big rock.

So a couple of my Facebook friends were having a discussion about National Public Radio, NPR . Well, I think they were talking about NPR. They keep calling it NGR, National Government Radio. Or, National Propaganda Radio. Or Pravda.
I got the impression that Big Bird carried the gun to rob people for NPR. So I asked what did the gun look like and please describe the person holding the gun.

That might have been when I was called a moron. But, it was repeated again that money for “National Propaganda Radio is taken by force. BY FORCE! – AT GUNPOINT.”

Being the ever inquisitive ‘moron,’ I asked about this whole gunpoint thing again. Seriously, if someone is holding a gun to your head, saying 'I’m taking your money and giving it to NPR,' you would be able to describe the person and the gun. Even small details like the gun was placed like 'between my eyes' or 'to my temple.'

No one took that question seriously. I might have been called a ‘libtard’ at that point. Hard to remember all the really funny putdowns. Especially when I’m a complete moron libtard like that "guy from Kenya."

So no one remembered any details of their robbery at gun point beyond NPR getting the loot. So I boldly challenged the room to prove their money was taken and given to NPR. The best answer came from “Lee.” Who must be a direct descendant of Robert E. Lee. “At $446 million (supposedly the amount given to NPR), every dollar everyone paid on this thread in taxes went to NGR aka NPR.”

At this point, I felt my inquiry was getting somewhere. They were talking about taxes. Plus, Big Bird was off the hook for mugging. I really was worried about him and Cookie Monster.

"So someone in the government holds a gun to your head to collect your taxes! Why didn't you just say that! Now, what did they look like and what kind of gun did they have? After all, if the tax man is mugging you on the street, with a gun, there must be witnesses and stuff. That is if anyone in this room pays taxes.”

The angry response was, “I can produce a check stub to demonstrate that I am, indeed paying taxes - which are extracted from me BY FORCE! - AT GUNPOINT! You can also see that NPR receives money - taken from Citizens BY FORCE!”

By now, I wasn’t surprised by the anger or tone of the discussion. But I was pissed off because my check stub doesn’t disclose anything about how the government spends my tax dollars.

I must need a new accountant. I'd really like to know which welfare queen with a Cadillac is getting both of my tax dollars. Maybe she can use me as another dependent.

So that conservative guy really gets mugged every week by the IRS. Which I didn’t understand even after he ‘screamed ‘at me, “The IRS employs ARMED AGENTS. Do you deny that basic, pedestrian fact?”

This guy knew his stuff, though. The armed agents employed by the IRS all carry “little 10mm MP10 submachine guns.” That must fit well in a shoulder holster under a Brooks Brothers suit. Maybe they tuck it in the waist band. Again, just because I haven’t seen anyone mugged with a big rock doesn’t mean it doesn’t ever happen. So it's possible IRS shop at Brooks Brothers Conceal Carry Department.

All that to collect money for this state run media called National Government Radio. Which is not biased at all.

I’ll get back to everyone on the exact mugging procedures used by armed agents of the IRS when taking your lunch money as soon as I can.

I've already started research on how the local governments mug people for 'property taxes.'



Friday, October 18, 2013

Rhinos in Kenya versus RINO's in Congress

Our world is losing biological diversity at an alarming rate. One threatened beast is the rhino. That huge hog with armor plating and a monster sized hood ornament.

Poachers have nearly hunted them to extinction cutting off the horn and leaving the carcass to rot. The horn has mythical value to some as a healing agent. It's much more valuable to the rhino.

Kenya is now forming a plan to slow or stop the rhino poachers. The Australian reports all remaining rhinos will have a microchip implanted in their horn.

Before any jokes about the NSA monitoring the chips, park rangers will do it with hand held scanners. Plus, those rangers get to subdue the beasts before implanting the chips.

There's a job opportunity in that some where.

But, what to do when the poacher is caught? I've suggested cutting off their noses.

Certain Republican members in the House of Representatives tried that recently and liked it. They may do it again. Hopefully, this cutting off one's nose to spite the country will continue in Congress until we can separate the REAL Republicans from the pretend Republicans by looking at them.

Rhinos and RINOs should have noses. The selfish can do without them.

Problems signing up for ACA, the Affordable Care Act.

Forbes and other high profile outlets are covering the start up problems with the Affordable Care Act’s insurance marketplaces.

Well, those websites don't work is the news coverage.

Who built the websites?

It seems that Obama and his daughter designed the websites using an 8 bit Atari computer. They found the computer in an old closet used by George W. Bush. They expected to find a Playstation 3 from Bush's term as the 43rd President of the United States. I guess Rumsfeld or Cheney took that home. Seriously, Obama didn't let his kids work on the website. Michelle did and its all her fault.

With Obama being President, it's his fault if the website doesn't work because Obama can't do anything right. Or correctly.

But, the website has been developed and run by CGI Federal. A private company. One of more than 200 companies involved with federal IT issues and development. I don't expect to read an article in Forbes or any other news outlet blaming private contractors. It's always the government fault.

If we are assessing blame, why not blame the government for hiring a crappy private company? That would be more fair than assigning personal blame to Obama. And, Yes! Each time it is called Obamacare instead of ACA it is by default Obama's.

I'm not going to talk about the Affordable Care Act by calling it Obamacare anymore. It's not his. Not anymore.

It's ours. Too bad the Republican Party had to shut down our government to prove it.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Short temper alert!

I've been a bit short tempered with some of my friends today. If you haven't gotten your fair share of abuse, the day isn't over yet. Here's a tip on how to move up to the front of the line.

Tell me how you are under appreciated by government employees who just got a two week paid vacation from you.

Here's what I'm going to tell you.

You're way over impressed with your self.

Your problem isn't with others. It's with your station in life. It's way lower than you ever expected and not likely to change.

And, lastly, destroying the federal government isn't a self improvement program.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Bad advise worth having

In my Facebook account today was a video of some 'Dag' in Australia giving an interesting graduation speech. Dag means Dude to the non-cool guys trying to be hip in the days of Hip-Hop and Be-Bop.

I'm not sure I can link the video in to my blog but here's my best shot at it:



Video

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Vacations!

It was a Saturday morning. My wife and I were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC. I had on shorts and flip flops. Something under the dash brushed my left leg. I looked down. “Damn car is falling apart! Look at that bundle of wires that just fell out of the dash.” That's what I thought. Really. Damn Detroit and Tokyo, too. I start to reach for the thing and it MOVES!

Rather smoothly with no trace of anxiety I turned to my bride of 35 years and said, "Would you mind taking the wheel? CAUSE THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE CAR AND I GOTTA GOOOOOooooooo!"

You know 'that' woman didn't believe me. She thought it was another one of my tricks to make her drive so I could take a nap!

I had to grab the damn thing and hand it to her before she got serious. The wheel. NOT the snake. When I say, Take the wheel ... I mean take the wheel! Like I was going to grab up under the dash to get a snake while doing a hundred and five. Hell. I didn't know my car could still do a hundred.

Need to scare the carburetor more often.

So there I am, sitting in the backseat watching Susan drive from the passenger seat. Dang. That was fun to watch. Glad the cruise control was set. I had a short conversation with my Maker while Susan did the Apache fertility and rain dance in her bucket seat.

If the damn snake had had any sense of fear, it would have tapped the brakes.

Pulled over at a gas station and did the Fill'er up and Check under the hood pantomime to the attendant. And, “Oh, would you mind ever so much to get the snake out of the dash?” Alas, there just no full service gas stations left.

Spent a good ten minutes sticking my feet out of the window while poking my left hand into all the hidden nooks behind the dash. Seriously, would you have used your right hand or your left hand to cover your mouth so you wouldn't scream like a girl every 3 seconds?

I learned that my wife can still scream "Get it out!" as loud now as she did that night 30 years ago when our first child was born weighing 11 pounds. The only difference was that this time I shared her sense of urgency.

Does the owners manual have a chapter on removing reptiles? Oh Hell NO!. I am going to write Nissan about that. It needs to go right after the section for removing dead cats from the alternator belt.

After 10 minutes the snake wasn't through with 'Hide n Seek.' So we came up with plan B. BURN THE CAR!

Plan C was to get back in the car and start driving again. Lull the snake into a false sense of security then grab it, beat it to death with a shoe, THEN burn the car just in case snakes are like cats and hide from humans to give birth.

Started back on the road with Susan doing the Lotus position. Me? I was the bait waiting for Death to grab my ankles again. After about 10 miles, Susan says, "Turn the heat on." What the Hell? I was only kidding about burning the car. After that heated discussion, my wife got the honor of turning off my A/C and turning on the heat to drive The Serpent from it's hiding place. Those who are old enough to remember the pleasures of 260 air conditioning, it hasn't changed any. It just as hot driving 60 with 2 windows down as it is driving 60 with no windows down.

Slowly, the snake crawled out of the steering column trying to reach the A/C controls. Silly me. I snatched his wittle neck before he hit the ON button. My wife celebrated the capture with another chorus of “GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!” Now things were really getting getting serious. I had my right hand on the steering wheel. A snake in my left hand. And, my wife was having flash backs to the birth of our second child who weighted a nice 11 pounds FIVE ounces. She never lets me forget about those five extra ounces of masculinity she produced just for me, her loving husband.

Despite the nearly over whelming desire to let go off the steering wheel to turn on the A/C, I guided the car safely to the next exit with a Love's Travel Center. Not only does the Love's chain of Travel Center have the best gasoline prices and the cleanest restrooms, they also have showers. Sometimes without a waiting list.

I pulled the car under the shade of the fueling island and discovered that the back half of the snake didn't really want to be evicted without proper legal notice. Do you know how to convince a snake's ass let go of the airbag? Trust me. You don't want to just give it a sharp jerk. In the new owners manual, the manufacturer will provide graphic evidence that it is better to slowly remove reptiles in one piece than it is to clean up several sections of snake guts.

My arson trial starts in 3 weeks. I'm pleading self-defense.

I am doing well in therapy. I needed it after Susan said, “I told you we should have gone to Savannah!”
Got a 'snail mail' today allegedly written by rattle snake holding a Papermate in its coils. It seemed to be an apology for his cousin. Seems the 'little feller' had a dog like fetish for hanging his head out the window and letting his tongue flap in the wind.

Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies

Let me tell you a story about a place called Hall.
Had a man named Deal controlling it all.
When one day he was feeling kind of rude.
Said ya'll pay my buddies or I'll even take your food.

All there is. Green gold. All for me!

Well first thing you know all his friends are billionaires.
Honest folk said you better move away from here.
Said federal prison is the place you ought to be.
So they loaded up the trucks and shipped it overseas.

Cayman Islands. Tax Shelters. No extradition.

Well now it’s time to say good bye to Deal and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you for kindly pitching in.
You'll never see them back again in this locality.
To have a big helping of prison hospitality.

Crossbar hotel. Calaboose. Jump suits. Sandals.

Ya'll don't come back, ya hear?

If the government shuts down, will I still have to pay taxes?

Now that is a dang good question, Goober.

If the government shuts down, will you still have to pay your taxes?

Yes. Sales taxes, excise taxes, state income taxes, federal income taxes, FICA taxes. Yuppers. All of those. Plus a stamp will still cost money.

Funny how the Post Office will not be bothered with this whole shut down thing. They are solvent and get all their needed operating funds from the sale of stamps. Maybe the Air Force should try selling stamps.

Here's how it would work.

Innocent people would buy "Don't Bomb Me" stamps. We would use multi-level marketing. You know, a friends and family plan, roll over of un-used stamps, and free transfers to a new body should that be required.

Stamps could be bought on the internet, over the phone, or from street vendors. The buyer would stick the stamps on their body. They get to pick the spot. The forehead would work. I'm sure some radical trouble makers would put a stamp on each butt cheek. Definitely not a recommended practice. I mean, how would that work for a drone unless said radical was caught with their pants down, they could get a missile between the 'stamps.'

So under the Stamp Tax, our enemies' families would be financing our Defense Department. The 400,000 civilian employees could still be working today. Making sandwiches, answering phones, and sweeping floors.

Now that's a deal!

Monday, September 30, 2013

The Daily Deal soon to get his Day in Court?

The Atlanta Journal is reporting our state Ethics Commission has borrowed a pair. View here About time. Now can we get a fair trial?

Friday, September 27, 2013

Why do I support taking from one to give to another?

I was asked this today. Here's my little answer.

I thank you for asking this question. It’s a misconception that ‘I’ think stealing is good. Or that taking from one and giving to another as a government function is a basic principle of mine.

Here’s my assumption.

You see any government benefit program as taking from one and as a giving to another. Most are not and I support all of those.

I could make a big list but I consider fire and safety funding as taxing all for the benefit of only those in need. Not a taking from one and giving to another.

The Justice system is funded the same way.

I’ve made fun of conservatives by using the Justice system as an example. My favorite ploy is asking, "Who pays for a murder trial? If not society, then the dead? Or, the family of the victim? No. Society pays for the investigation, trial, and providing punishment. And society pays millions of dollars to do this."

I find your question just bad semantics or political talking points. But, that’s a point of view from me knowing I can never pay enough in taxes for what I’ve gotten as a US citizen.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Is the US government Hell on Earth as conservatives say?

I've said that government is not a Waffle House. A place where you select from a menu and pay by a menu. I'll try making it a single bank.
A single, world wide US dollar based bank. All dollars come from it. There's no other source of dollar bills. Please look at this as being an example of a BANK then compare it to a government. It's a difficult concept. No. It's simple. If you connect anything to this example other than a bank, you're doing it wrong.
That bank creates and maintains an entire financial system 24/7/365 everywhere on the globe. Everything associated with money passes through the bank. Every expense is paid from vault cash. Advertising. Rent. Water. Sewer. Remodeling. Pencils. Pens. Erasers. Wages. Retirement. Janitors. Windex. Paper clips. Wages. Repairs. Having the grass cut. Landscaping. Dividends. Bonuses. Stock options. Toilet paper. Soap. Coffee in the break room. Microwave to warm up food. Training. Professional memberships like the Chamber of Commerce. Medical benefits. A Christmas party. Holiday pay. Heating. Cooling. Everything is paid from vault cash. That's a bank.
Now I walk in holding a single dollar bill. "HEY! You basterds over charged me because I didn't get invited to the Christmas Party. You over charged me by wasting paper clips, putting coffee and microwaves in the break room. Heck! Having a break room is waste!"
Even if I have a billion dollar bills in my hand, I don't own the bank. Run it. Manage it.
I am a part of the global financial system since I use dollars. I was forcibly opted in at birth. Forever associated with the bank. Unable to ever divorce myself from their way of doing business.
Moving to a system/shadows of governments and your question about hypocrisy.
I'm sure there are lots of things done by governments which are opposed by the 'ruled.' Let's just agree to that as a fact. NO ONE LIKES everything. Another way of saying the world isn't perfect. Banks aren't perfect. Governments aren't perfect. People aren't perfect. Hell, even you and I aren't perfect unless we are grading A holes.
You are opposed to the system. I'm assuming system means the US government. I'd rather think you are opposed to parts of it.
So if you are not opposed to the US government and seeking to destroy it by any means, I'll keep going.
MHO, it is the worst hypocrisy to measure the value of government by individual examples. i.e. "I paid a dollar in taxes. I didn't get any welfare check so I should get a dollar tax refund." "I paid a dollar in taxes and opposed the Iraq invasion so I should get a two dollar tax refund." "I have a billion dollars in my hand so you should kiss my ashe."

What we are lacking in this ... is a way to measure the value of government. Other than taxes and dollars and the use of paper clips.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Freedom of the press and another mess

I’ve been thinking about the Times photographer arrested for obstruction. The story seems pretty simple. The photographer had every right to do his reporting job and keep the public informed. The police had every right to investigate the scene, protect the evidence, and preserve the dignity of the decreased. Things went wrong when these rights seemingly conflicted. Here’s how to resolve the current situation. Drop the charges against the photographer. Don’t make a press release or createa media event. Just let him go. He demanded to be arrested. He got his wish. He’s enjoyed the existential experience. Let’s get him out of the justice system before he asks a judge to throw the book at him. We can call this the One Wish per Citizen Policy. The two police officers went above and beyond the call of duty with this wish fulfillment effort. They need to be an example to the rest of the force. I’d say they qualify for additional sensitivity training. That will look good on their service records and resume’s. Plus, they can share their new diplomatic skills with management and supervisors. That ought to improve communication. We can call that the Free Speech for Police Policy. But, I’ve only addressed the people mentioned in the paper. There could be people standing in the shadows of these events. Let’s share a few words for them. Stupidity might be hereditary but it isn’t contagious. If you’re stupid enough to have pushed this event into conflict forcing an arrest, smarter people will figure that out. And, there are lots of smart people in this town. So get the man out of the justice system. Make our officers better communicators. And, let’s find the stupid people who always seem to be circling around the gray shadows of community conflicts.

Medical center cutting employees and benefits while building new hospital

There's a Times story at about the medical center cutting employee benefits. Specifically, they are cutting about 14 employees and closing the daycare center.

My issue is how the changes hurt employees at a time when the hospital is spending on expansion in South Hall with $200 million in bond guarantees from Hall County taxpayers. And, on financial numbers being published on the web.

So who failed to plan for this in the budget? Not the employees who are being hurt by the change.

When the medical center had their public hearings on financing the new hospital, they estimated saving $17 million in financing costs with the county's backing. Not to mention the road widening from the state. Hey, Mr. Hospital Administrator, exactly how many traffic lanes do you need in front of your 100 bed hospital? Six? Six it is then!

Done Deal.

What is the current financial status of the hospital?

The latest information (http://foundationcenter.org/about/) on the medical center (2010) shows close to a billion dollars in assets ($934,950,982). Investment income was $10.7 million!!!!! Over $23 million listed as 'securities.' Net off revenue minus expenses was $77,646,814!!!!!!!!!!!

And the medical center couldn't let that number drop to $77,346,814 for what reason?

I can't use the expletive needed to respond fully to this tough decision made by senior management after due diligence.

Frack.

See the story at http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/section/6/article/88934/

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Horses in politics

The GOP has it's elephant.

The Dems own a donkey.

Libertarians have half a horse.

Some need the front half to go with the back they already own.

Others had the horse cut length wise and remain half of a horse's ass.

Friday, August 16, 2013

I don't know if it matters any more but I'd like to keep my blog alive. Any suggestions out there?