Friday, February 28, 2014

There is no Hell Fire!

Many years ago, about 1976, I heard some shocking statements from a minister. There's no physical Hell. There's no physical Heaven. Both are spiritual. Both exist here and now.

The Pope confirmed today what I learned 37 years ago. We make our lives Hell. Or, we can walk as if in Heaven.

Full story

“God is changing and evolving as we are, For God lives in us and in our hearts. When we spread love and kindness in the world, we touch our own divinity and recognize it. The Bible is a beautiful holy book, but like all great and ancient works, some passages are outdated. Some even call for intolerance or judgement. The time has come to see these verses as later interpolations, contrary to the message of love and truth, which otherwise radiates through scripture. In accordance with our new understanding, we will begin to ordain women as cardinals, bishops and priests. In the future, it is my hope that we will have a woman pope one day. Let no door be closed to women that is open to men!”

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Bill Gates gives away his fortune

I got in trouble for this in college. MicroSoft has issued cash dividend to all stockholders. Bill got about $8,000,000,000. If global wage was $2 per day. a day's work was at least 12 hours and we had 6 billion people on the planet, assuming every 2 out of 3 people were able bodied, 4 billion people would have been employed for one day on Bill's windfall check. So what did the Billster do in his lifetime that was equal to 48 billion man hours of ditch digging?

Consider this: We could have built 10 Great Pyramids of Giza with that much manual labor.

But, there is a Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation which does some good deeds.

Melinda tells Bill how to give his money away. Including helping farmers access the internet via cell phones. This picture is copied from the Gates Foundation web site. Sort of highlighting the work being done primarily in Sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia.

Sort of like Mrs. Howell on Gilligan's Island told Thurston Howell III to tolerate the little people.

I'm sorry Mr. Gates. Your foundation must do a lot of good work. In my humble opinion, our country needs to look at the issues of wealth growth and concentration of power before we give everything away to just a couple of people.

The shortage of guns continue in the USA. This time Virginia needed a posse.

A Glade Spring, Va. man who shot his wife, son, mother-in-law and father-in-law early Tuesday morning before taking his own life, reportedly has a documented history of abuse.

He was arrested within the last week for domestic abuse. Seems he thought about it for a few days before killing most of his family with the gun he bought to protect them.


I'm waiting for the first gun nut to spew some talking points. Responsible gun owners don't do things like this. Wow! The man lived 44 years as an irresponsible gun owner? I don't think so. The phrase responsible gun owner means what? "I'm a responsible gun owner because I haven't murdered my family. Yet?" Yeah. That's what it means.

Using the gun nut logic machine, the man should be buried with his gun. If the government prevents that with some regulation, it's violating the 2nd Amendment.

I say, bury the gun. Hang the man from a tree until his bones rot with a sign saying, I'm a proud gun owner.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Florida is the new Wild West

Hard to believe? No.

A blind guy in Florida is having a few drinks with a friend. Suddenly, his friend starts beating the hell out of him. But, he didn't finish the job soon enough. The blind guy goes and gets ... wait for it ... his assault rifle. Loads it up and shoots his drunken friend to death.

Since it's Florida, say Stand Your Ground if you're sober enough to stand. We need a new SDUI law, shot dead under the influence.

The blind guy has done probation for shooting 15 rounds at his cousin ... and missing. Plus he lost a fight with a woman in a domestic disturbance some three years ago.

Since some will think I've made it up, here's that link to the story as it was published in Europe.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Letter to the Gainesville Times on real gun tragedies

A recent letter to the Editor suggested what many in Georgia believe to be true about guns. If only we had more of them, there would be fewer gun tragedies. I don’t believe we have a shortage of guns or that more guns would stop the horrors of gun deaths in America.

It’s easy to understand my point of view.

Two toddlers are playing together. One of them is five years old. The other is only four. The five year old is playing with a pistol. He points it at the chest of the four year and shoots. There’s that moment when times stands still in a crisis. But, gun powder and metal slugs have no human illusion of time stopping.

The bullet rips through the little toddler. Time pauses for every witness. The toddler turns as if he is going to run to his mother. Only, in turning, he stumbles. In running, he falls. Lying on the ground, his feet kick the ground as if his legs were still running. And, then he lies silent.

Through the pain, the stumbling, and the fall, his mind knew one thing. Momma will make it all better. She will hold me. Tell me that it’s all okay. I’m going to be all right.

But nothing will ever be all right.

The bullet killed a son and tore open a mother’s heart. In her grief, she will use the phrase, if only. If only I had been there. If only I could have held him. If only I could have said, I love you and it’s going to be all right.

There is no gun shortage in America. If only there were just one less gun, there would be at least one tragedy less. If only.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Letter in the Gainesville Times on gun control

The usual sort of letter.

We have a terrible gun shortage in our society. This shortage causes murders and mass murders in places like schools, bars, and churches. The only way to stop these tragic gun deaths, is to have more guns, more gun rights, and more people with guns.

The tragedy isn't with too few guns. It's with too many guns. So many that a 9 year boy and an 11 year old boy found one in a shed.

They say that Landry Oliver, a student at Marlow Elementary, was shot with a .22-caliber rifle as he and an 11-year-old neighbor where playing in Oliver's backyard. The Savannah Morning News reports ( ) that the rifle had been in a shed.

Left in a shed. Wanna tell me that the owner was irresponsible and not a typical gun owner?

I don't believe that.

On a single day in December of 2012, 3 people were arrested at the Atlanta airport in a period of a few hours. Three people who forgot something. What was the something? They forgot where they kept their gun.

Could have been in a shed, maybe? Where children could find it?

Well, if you're so damned stupid as to walk through federal metal detector with a hidden gun ... maybe you would mindlessly leave your gun on the hood of your car. In a shed. In a potted plant. Disassembled with the parts hidden inside three stuffed toys?

More guns will mean more gun deaths.

More stories on dumb gun owners trying to smuggle their gun through airports post 9/11.

Flight carries gun through airport security.

Over 1100 guns seized in carry on luggage in 2012.

When carrying a hidden weapon becomes as routine as having sunglasses, we're going to find more gun tragedies, not fewer.

Total number of gun found by the TSA security in 2012 was 1,549. Roughly 85% of the gun were loaded.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Lynching at Ol' Miss

Like it or knot.

Racism rules in the South. Wave the Battle Flag and cry Havoc!

Students at Ol' Miss University performed a ritual lynching of James Meredith, the first black student to attend the school.

Police on Sunday found a noose tied around the neck of the statue, along with an old Georgia flag with a Confederate battle emblem in its design, which has since been updated to exclude the emblem.

And a Georgia Flag?

I'm 58 years old and I've seen the KKK standing on street corners in the South. But remember I've only lived here since 1986.

I didn't live here in 1962. I bet white sheets were the rage.

Maybe the tie dye rage was a small rebellion which didn't take.

"Voting rights act? We don't need no federal protection for our darkies. We know how to handle them."

If that's not the mantra of Georgia, Let the leadership speak out. Repudiate vocally or validate privately.

Well, I'm listening.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Infamous gun deaths and Georgia's hidden carry law

Cops shoot 17 year old kid who opened the front door.

Cops shoot grandmother who called 911.

Police shoot Pastor in drug sting. His three loves in life were "Jesus Christ, my wife Abby, and the Church."

Police shoot man with knife 16 times, claiming he had a gun. They wound 9 bystanders and claim he shot them.

Police shoot and kill robbery victim.

Unarmed man shot by cops.

Police shoot man armed with wallet 41 times.

Police shoot 83 year old grandmother 39 times wounding themselves 3 time. Then, plant drugs on her.

And Georgia wants civilians to be armed with hidden weapons in churches. If professional, trained police officers can't shoot straight, shoot each other, kill innocent people, and lie about it; don't you think the dude sitting behind you in church might shoot you and lie about it?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Abu Ghraib lives on.

A few members of the National Guard are in the news for tasteless photographs.

The photo looks very, very professional. It wasn't done with a cell phone. But, who's in trouble?

A woman. What about the gay men hugging in the back row? Nada. What about the photographer? Don't know.

We are punishing the woman who 'shared' the picture. Horrible message that sends.

In other words, you can mock the dead, make fun of gays, act like children, all while wearing a uniform without penalty.

Should have sacked them all like the cook who insulted the Goobernator of NC.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Housing market recovery in Oakwood, Georgia

Let's not blame Obama or Bush until we've read all of my thoughts on this? Please.

The housing market is recovering in Oakwood, Georgia. A developer wants to build out 302 lots in a new subdivision near Falcons Parkway.

Oh my God is that good news.

I'm a mortgage loan originator and I talk with real estate agents, potential buyers, and others every day. The biggest concern? Inventory.

There are very few existing homes for sale worth buying.

Now, we're about to add 300 homes to the market. Yippee! Can you tell I'm not that excited.

The new homes will have 3,000 square feet of space. Assuming a moderate cost of $89 per square foot, these are not average homes.

We're right back where we started with the housing crisis. Building homes the average person can't afford. Then, creating ways to make the purchase work. Taking the money and running to the back before the check bounces.

We don't need $300,000 houses. We need homes which match the economic demographics of Oakwood.

Right now, that home is too often a run down mobile home, a crime infested apartment complex, or a slumlord dog house.

We have learned nothing since 2006 about economics.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Justin Beeber moving to Atlanta.

The rumor is true. Justin Beeber has bought a unit in Tara. he's paid 10 million in Euros to the Atlanta Apartment Finders Group of Tara.

Beeber must get his expired Georgia drivers license updated if he can find the correct documentation for brain dead aliens.

Failing that, he will move to Gainesville, Georgia where the brain dead do not have to produce papers.

Deaton Creek Democrats Club

Just returned from Deaton Creek. Okay, I returned at 8:58 pm.

Good group. Good speakers.

Major point?

Somebody has to get bloody.

That's if we want a Democratic Party in Georgia. We have to have candidates willing to take a beating. We have to have supporters willing to take a beating with the candidates. We have to fight because giving up hasn't ever worked.

It was true in the Revolutionary War. Some got bloody. Others, most others, didn't. They got the benefits.

It's the ongoing price of freedom. Somebody has to get bloody.

Georgia to give away carry on guns at Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport

Despite a poll showing Georgia voters do not want more gun on airplanes, in bars, in confessionals, or libraries, the GOP is considering a carry on gun law. Also to be know as the Right to Carry On law, all rednecks who declare their Right to Carry to airlines when buying tickets will no longer be stopped by federal agents.

The federal agency tasked with carrying out providing effective and efficient security for passenger and freight transportation in the United States, TSA, has denied Georgia gun owners the right to pass through security with a gun since it was formed in 2001.

Through a spokesmodel, the TSA said, "We ain't lettin' no redneck pack more than a suitcase through our checkpoints. We had have our first death in the line of duty in the shooting spree in LA. One dead agent is enough."

An unofficial spokesmodel to the Goobernator was glad to give a statement on a subject other than ethics.

"The sovereign State of Georgia has the Constitutional Rights given by the Founders to grant a Get Out of Jail Free card to anyone caught with a gun in Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport. It's clearly stated in the Bill of Rights that the federal government shall not infringe on the right to bear arms. That includes on airplanes and crowded public places."

Rumors abound on street corners that the new law is in retaliation for the partial guilty verdict in Florida in the so called Gangster Music shooting.

The north Florida jury has convicted a man of three counts of attempted murder for opening fire on a car of black teenagers during an argument over loud music. One teenager was killed in the shooting but the jury ignored the death in its verdict. Apparently, killing someone while attempting to kill them isn't murder anymore.

Only Georgia's street corner wisdom could twist that into a carry on gun law. Must have something to do with that phrase in the Constitution, 'Activist judges shall not abridge a white mans right to kill black teenagers.'

Georgia giving tax cuts to high school football teams

Our beloved Georgia started giving 40% tax credits to Hollywood companies a few years ago. The tax credits are salable.

Let's say a Hollywood company makes a film in Georgia and they spend $1,000,000. They could get a tax credit of $400,000. Since the production costs are paid during filming and profits counted much later, the Hollywood company can sell the $400,000 to an existing Georgia company.

So at the worst, Company A has made no money and has no Georgia tax liability but has a Georgia tax credit of $400,000. They sell the credit for $360,000 paying a 10% fee to a broker. They still have no Georgia tax liability. A Georgia political insider just made $40,000. Let's say Delta bought the credit. Reducing their taxes.

Now, the positive argument goes, Georgia comes out ahead with increased jobs.

So, will Company A create enough jobs to pay back the $400,000? The GOP says Yes!

As a matter of fact, the GOP likes giving salable tax credits to attract entertainment.

The Georgia House of Give-away-slaters are applying the principle to high school football. If a Hollywood or Texas hight school football team will pay in Georgia, the coach will get two footballs signed by the Goobernator, 3 jock straps worn by interior lineman in a professional game, and $400,000 in salable tax credits.


There's study by the Hermitage Foundation on high school football. The sport adds a cool billion dollars to the national economy. The study included only money spent on transportation, tickets, and tailgating. Head injuries, legal sales of burgers, and EMTs were excluded in the figures.

So Georgia wants to be the destination of every high school football team in American. And, they're willing to pay in salabe tax credits.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Commissioner Craig Lutz accepts responsibility for canceled air travel in USA

A record number of domestic air flights have been cancelled since December 1st. Over 14,000 flights were canceled last week.

Today, in a press conference, Hall County Commissioner Craig Lutz accepted full responsibility for the cancellations.

"As you know, we have been confronted with an unexpected storm that has hit America," Commissioner Lutz did not say.

"'Some in the public, social media or decision-making positions have been ‘blameing’ the meteorologists. I began to hear things like ‘this was not expected in America’ or ‘they said this was going to all be South of America’ or there were no Watches or Warnings until snow started falling or ‘weather is just unpredictable.’"

Invoking President Kennedy and the Bay of Pigs, "Kennedy in the aftermath of the failed Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba, sought to spread the blame to the U.S. news media, particularly the New York Times. On separate occasions in 1961 and 1962, Kennedy told the Times‘ publisher and its managing editor that had the newspaper printed all it knew about the pending invasion, the country and his administration would have been spared a major foreign policy embarrassment. That is, the pre-invasion publicity would have made an assault untenable."

Lutz, had he been present for a news conference would have said, "I am not Kennedy. I am not Goobernator Deal. I'm not even Kasim Reed.

"The greatest difference between me and these failed leaders, I'm more responsible!

"This is true in my personal life where I took responsibility for $90,000 in credit card debt through the opportunity of bankruptcy.

"Now it is time for me to take responsibility for the massive number of flight cancellations in American history.

"It was my responsibility."

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Seems the governor of South Carolina was trying to reach our Goobernator by phone.

The call was routed through a help center located in New Delhi.

"Hello, this is the help desk, Steve Austin speaking. What's your emergency?"

I'm trying to reach an expert on snow.

"Let me speak to my supervisor. --- I'm very sorry. Mr. Snowden is not available at this time."

Snowed In? Hell, yes I'm snowed in.

"Please lower your voice. The NSA can hear you without yelling."

NSA? What's that got to do with snowed in? "

It's a non-profit, non-governmental, post freezing organization listening to the Weather Channel. It stands for Not Snowden A-hole!"

Okay, look. I just wanna talk to the Goobernator of Georgia. He's got experience.

"Again, I am truly sorry. Mr. Snowden is NSA at the moment and can't be reached."

Look! Half the state is snowed in and I need help. What can you do for me?

"After years of research and extensive experience, I will put your call on hold until Spring Time. Then, you can accept personal responsibility. But, if you can excuse me, I'm NSA. Thank you for calling. Your call is very important to us. It will be answered when the proper season arrives."

Monday, February 10, 2014

Murder in Florida

Here's an update on the story at North Georgia Democrats:

In sworn courtroom testimony, the killer not only had to walk to his car, get the gun out of the glovebox, remove it from a case, but load it as well before shooting a kid to death over loud music.


Black Hawk Down ---- in Lilburn Georgia

An Army BlackHawk helicopter made an emergency landing in Lilburn, Georgia after the Trunk Lid Open warning light flashed red. Despite the courage of the fearless crew, the pilot insisted on landing.

The CIA, fearing high tech equipment might fall into the hands of .... rebels, sent a General Atomics MQ-1 Predator drone into the area. Had the crew been unable to successfully re-close the trunk and suppress the warning light, The CIA, under a secret 1864 Executive Order, would have destroyed the BlackHawk and its crew.

With red pick up trucks driven by Tea Party rednecks rushing to the area, the co-pilot rushed into action.

She shot the warning light out with her sidearm.

Despite her quick thinking which saved the lives of her crew members and the $21 million dollar malfunctioning helicopter, she faces possible disciplinary action for discharging a firearm.

Speaking off the record, the co-pilot said, "There ain't no fracken trunk on no BlackHawk helicopter."

A non-unofficial comment wasn't made the the Air Force, "We are letting her off easy. She broke the chain of command, ignoring the senior officers order to get out and close the trunk lid. If we don't throw the book at her, other women co-pilots may get ideas about which warning lights are valid warning light. We can't have that. It's slippery slope. Next they'll stop to get directions."

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Fatal poison used in beer to preserve foam

I hate drinking weak foamed beer. Just a little cobalt, added to the mix, will keep that foamy head high and tight.

But, ... isn't cobalt like nuclear deadly? So why is was it ever in beer foam?

"Although cobalt intoxication has been known to cause cardiomyopathy for more than 50 years, it is usually considered a problem for people who are exposed to the metal in their jobs or for people who suffer from a condition known as “Quebec beer drinkers’ cardiomyopathy.”

Cobalt intoxication? Beer drinking? cardiomyopathy?

Before we get back to the beer, having a nearly deadly amount of a rare metal in your body should be called poisoning not intoxication.

A little cobalt goes a long way. This man had cardiomyopathy; 'nearly deaf and nearly blind; his thyroid gland had slacked off; he had gastroesophogeal reflux; the lymph nodes near his left hip were enlarged; and he had a fever.'

Was he drinking cobalt laced beer from Quebec? No. His hip implant was poisoning him.

The oddness doesn't stop there. The man with a bad hip was saved by a TV doctor with a bad leg. Please read the story because somethings just can't be explained.

But, here's the dope on the Quebec beer and 20 dead men and “Quebec beer drinkers’ cardiomyopathy.”

"The ailment got its name from a cluster of 50 heavy beer drinkers — they downed 24 pints of beer a day, on average — in Quebec City who developed the heart condition between August 1965 and April 1966; 20 of them died as a result. These cases were traced to the local Dow Brewery, which began adding cobalt sulfate to its Dow Ale in July 1965 “to improve the stability of the foam,” according to a fascinating account of the outbreak published in 1969 in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences.

After the case was cracked, Dow Brewery insisted in an advertisement that its beer was “perfectly good,” according to the 2001 book “Brewed in Canada: The Untold Story of Canada’s 350-year-old Brewing Industry,” by Allen Winn Sneath. However, it poured nearly 1 million gallons of unsold Dow Ale into the St. Lawrence River to assure beer drinkers that no tainted beer would ever reach their lips."

A million gallons of cobalt poisoned beer poured into the drinking water. Thank God it wasn't in my beer, Eh?

Medical News Today

Man with conceal carry permit commits murder in Florida over loud music

He had never committed a crime. Nice quiet guy. Always waved and smiled at his neighbors.

Then one day, the music was too loud.

Nine shots later, a 17 year old kid sitting in the back seat of a SUV was dead.

What did the shooter have to say? No one is going to talk to me like that!

Another dead black kid in Florida. Nine shots. A 47 year old adult starts a shouting match. Loses the shouting match. Goes to his car. Gets his gun out of the locked dash.

Empties the gun through the front door of the other vehicle.

Expect a not-guilty verdict. The ghetto kids assaulted him with bass.

Well, it was maybe tremble. Or, a 4 inch pocket knife. Or, a shotgun!

If you're going to shot a 17 year old kid in the back, then claim self-defense, it really helps your case if you remember being threatened with a knife or a shotgun.

And, if it is self-defense, don't drive away.


Friday, February 7, 2014

Demand by consumers creates nothing

“The mature corporation,” wrote Galbraith, has “readily at hand the means for controlling the prices at which it sells as well as those at which it buys.... Since General Motors produces some half of all the automobiles, its designs do not reflect the current mode, but are the current mode. The proper shape of an automobile, for most people, will be what the automobile makers decree the current shape to be”

Extend that to fast food. Wages. Benefits. Quality of housing. Interest rates on auto loans. Revolving credit. Mortgage terms. Foreclosure practices. Political agenda in Washington or Atlanta. We need jobs. We get gun rights. We need jobs. We get corporate tax cuts for outsourced jobs. We want income and employment security. We get temporary employment agencies hiring people inside manufacturing plants like Kubota, Gainesville.

The world is not what people want.

For more reading on how the mature corporation has acted in our lifetimes, read about Enron.

Or Domino's Pizza in New York.

That's corporate citizenship at its very, very best.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Justin Bieber wants a Celebrity Boxing Match

Mickey Mouse is under contract to RKO but Wiley Coyote has an open card.

Deal called to lie in suit

Goobernator Mark A. Deal has been commanded to lie in a suit and tie.

Since 1993 and a half, the Goobernator has lied in buildings, hallways, and bus stops. The call has gone out, in writing, for Deal to appear in a suit.

The command appears to be formal but tux and tails are not available at this time.

New Chicken statue in Gainesville

Gainesville is the chicken capital of the United States. Just look at who runs for office there.

PETA wants to mark a spot on Highway 129 in memory of the chickens who never made it into local public office. These chickens lost their lives along Highway 129 on their way to slaughter at the polls.

The ambitious idea dwarfs the downtown statue and may eclipse the Big Chicken in Marietta.

Various non-comments were never heard today.

Commissioner Craig Lutz, "We will not raise taxes to remember losers."

Commissioner Gibbs, "We have no reason to remember our mistakes, especially those made behind closed doors when first elected."

Ex-Commissioner Ashley Bell, "I look past this time of grief knowing I can find a compromise to make me look good to true conservative donors."

Goobernator Make A. Deal, "I'm appointing a blue ribbon commission to review our response to poorly worded and ill timed reports of dead chickens blocking school buses."

Senator Miller, "Whatever the Goobernator said is alright with me if the Tea Party lets me say so. If the Tea Party honors me by sending me to the next Constitutional Convention, I'll act in the best interests of my betters."

You got that right!

Celebrity Boxing Matches

George Zimmerman wants a boxing match with DMX.

His spokes model confirmed Zimmerman said, "There will be no rematch with my ex-girl friend. I never laid a glove on her. I used a rubber hose."

DMX said, "Zimmerman's ex-wife, Shellie, refused to be in my corner. She's seen enough violence by that monster."

Organizers of the celebrity boxing match announced that both fighter will use Georgia's Stand Your Ground Rules.

Also on the fight car, Tonya Harding in a stick fighting match versus John Wayne Bobbit. John Curtis Holmes will be the fight doctor for Harding and Bobbit will hire Evelyn Dick as fight doctor, if she can be found.

Snoop Dog will provide entertainment.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Senator Butch Miller is a waste of hot air, MHO

Dig it.

My State Senator, Butch 'You got that right' Miller, wants a Constitutional Convention.

Send Miller to Philadelphia

A convention could destroy the economy and perhaps the country. Imagine someone on a dumb blog announcing the Conventioneers have voted to implement a national sales tax of 23 percent. What would happen to those financial markets around the world?

Let's say the Convention eliminated the Executive Branch. Or voting. Or made gold the only legal tender.

What if Senator Miller were our rep to the Convention? Would the new money say, "You got that Right!"

Can you Spot the Senator in the picture contest:

Profound profanity

Daniel Defense ad killed by NFL. Veterans out raged. Storm stage at Half Time Show.

"Two months ago, Georgia-based firearms company Daniel Defense made headlines when the NFL rejected their conservative commercial for the upcoming Super Bowl. Well, this week the NFL responded to that controversy publicly, saying the whole thing is made up."

Although the lies about the ban were great advertising, they were still lies.

So answer up, Daniel Defense.

Why would you lie about military vets?

To me, that's what you did. You didn't lie about the NFL. You lied about vets being rejected by our society. I guess you needed the money.

American Capitalism, War mongering, and merchandising war. Must pay well. Just my opinion.

I hope you damaged the very market you service.

Solar energy.

Puns ahead. You are being warned.

Glad I had my tri-focals on when I read this. Who's crystal ball thought this up? I like it. Now we'll have passive solar energy. The chip lays there. Interactive solar energy. The chip is moved to track the sun. And, Ocular solar energy. The chip wears glasses.

By the way, no gold fish were harmed in making these puns.

Solar power glass orb

Monday, February 3, 2014

Gun nuts in public meetings

I've had a fever, chills, and other flu like symptoms for 2 days. In a delirious dream, I had the following encounter with a Right to Carry nut.

It was a public forum set up by Democrats for a Democratic Candidate. The candidate was speaking from a podium when the Right to Carry Nut got up.

At some point in his remarks, I lost my cool. Must have been my fever even in the dream.

I started shouting, "Do you have a hidden gun? Right now? Right here? Are you hiding a gun?"

'I have a Concealed Carry Permit.'

"I have a prescription for penicillin but that doesn't give me a right to hide moldy bread in my pockets. Are you hiding a gun?"

'I have a right to carry my gun.'

"So where are you hiding it? Can't be in that many places. You don't have a man purse with you. There's no bulge in the front of your jeans. So unless your mother cut your balls off at birth, you ain't packing anything there. So you must be hiding a gun barrel in your butt crack. So fess up. Are you a crack packer?"

The guy gets a little testy with me. 'I flew 25 missions as a tail gunner on a B-17 in Europe...'

I was on a roll by then so I cut him off. "So you admit to being a tail end Charlie all your life. Is that why you're hiding a gun?"

He's getting angry now. He gets down to my level with a few 4 letter words. But then he goes for the kill. 'You're nothing but a niggar loving Democrat!'

"I know what I am and what people think about me. But this forum opened up with a prayer to God, followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. It's a public library in South Hall. Why are you here twerking a gun? I'll tell you why. You're afraid. Scared. You're a coward."

"You don't have the guts to face life on its terms. Oh it's a dangerous world. But where's the danger here? You are the danger here. For no logical reason, you're hiding a gun."

"Now let me tell you what happens next. You're going to shot me or leave. Because I have rights. A right to justice. Expectations that in a public place, no one is going to stand up and brag about packing a hidden gun. That's my right."

I started moving towards the general area where the man was seated. Like a typical coward, he was in the middle of the room where he could be attacked by all his demons from any direction at any time. Yet, his position put him in the middle of anyone. The safest place in the room. Or, in a herd. Only in a herd, the males stay at the edge, at the perimeter, protecting the females hiding in the middle of the herd.

An coward.

"Folks, you might want to start moving away from the Crack Packer." I get to the end of his row of seats and people do start moving. Away from me.

"The next move is yours, dude. Leave. Take your chicken shit, gun loving ass out of here."

Now this is when I start making plans. He's still standing up. Arms crossed in defiance. But, he's not talking any more. One of his legs has a slight tremble. Options for me include picking up a chair, throwing it at him, then rushing him. Or, closing the gap between us until I'm chest to chest with him. I hope he's thinking, I'm not leaving.

"So what's your pleasure. You going to shoot me because I'm an niggar loving Democrat? I don't think so. I think you're too much of coward to shoot someone face to face. Unless I turn my back to you, I'm safe."

Now some people in the room are trying to control the group. The candidate at the podium is frozen like a bag of Mrs. Paul's fish sticks. Somewhere reasonable voices are screaming, Oh God! Stop this! Reasonable voices always scream at God.

There are five metal folding chairs between me and the gun nut.

I say, "You're going to leave because you don't have a right to endanger everyone here buy hiding a gun in your pants."

I take a step down the row of chairs.

And that's when the dream ends. It might have been the dog licking my toes. My wife might have slapped me to wake me up. Or, just slapped me because I'm always thinking about stuff no one should think about. Or, those flu like symptoms took control of my mind and body.

But I never get to finish business.

The man who packs a gun to a public library, hides it in the back of his pants, is a coward.

Me? I'm just a nut. Somebody will shoot me some day. In the back.