Thursday, May 18, 2017

Die! Die! At least 3 per hour!

I visited this site

I didn't like it.

Don't go there.

Don't go here, either.

This one is safe unless you let your kids play with your Big Boy Toys.

But, if you're into head wounds and have been banned from Reddit, this one's for you.

312 Cossacks and Counting

This week in blogging news, 312 Russian Cossacks have entered my blog. Three times as many Russians read my blog than Americans. The question which dumbfounds me is why do they visit a blog named North Georgia Democrats which has no affiliation with any political party?

Well, there was that post about Putin killing his gay lover. My sources, rather poor sources, claimed Putin went all Sharon Stone with an ice pick followed with a Silence of the Lambs dinner party with fava beans and a nice Vodka.

The story proved to be false. Putin did not kill his lover. His favorite butt buddy lives part time in New Jersey. Safe from the Russian grill. For now.

Then, I wrote that story about Putin and the Time Machine. Seriously, what would you do with a time machine if you were the Third Most Powerful Man in the World, with Obama being first and that Korean guy second? Would you meddle in the past or seek out future events? Most of us would travel forward but not a True Conservative. They would go meddle in the past.

So Putin traveled back and tried, over and over, to destroy the US. After 100's of trips, he destroyed the time machine. Someone heard him say, it works out better this way. Hold my beer.

Then, Marx met Lenin in the Pope's purgatory. It was a true story. But, dasvidaniya Comrades! I gave first billing to Marx who never killed 20 million people. Oh, that must have hurt.

So, I just don't know what could attract an audience in a totalitarian country. Shrug.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

School shootings

Georgia has passed a law allowing guns in public schools.

Georgia also passed, some years ago, a ban on guns inside the Capital Building in downtown Atlanta.

Sadly, I read this very short story about a 7 year old being shot 'accidentally' in a public school. No details yet on who had the gun or why. No full reports on the injury to the child. The child could be dead.

So, if I can, I will report on guns in schools and children shot by parents, teachers, and other adults.

Because, guns don't kill. Parents, teachers, cops, firemen, adults, and students kill.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Cyber attack

Hey, Buddy. Could I borrow $300 in Bitcoins?

The irony emerges in the recent international cyber attacks. The attacks lock up your computer demanding a ransom, $300 in Bitcoins.

So, with your computer frozen, how do you buy Bitcoins and pay the ransom?

And, the attacks allegedly originate with the USA's stolen software. I don't see how. Capitalism shines at collecting the 'coin.'

Had to be Putin's left elbow in this one.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Putin gives Republican Party leaders Order of Lenin medals made of Fools Gold

Putin sent a dozen 'Order of Lenin' medals to the USA via FedEx. The Justice Department intercepted the package. The CIA refused to open and inspect the boxes. The package being on domestic soil, the job fell to the FBI.

Being smarter than a cat, the FBI refused to open the boxes saying, 'if we open the box, a cat dies. Nobody wants to kill a cat.'

A reporter shouting questions from the street corner nearest the potentially explosive boxes was arrested. Jelly Konrad, Republican leadership spokesperson denied any connection with the reporter's arrest. 'Yes,' she said, ' we know the reporter. He's a reporter. But, he wasn't reporting at the time of his arrest. This precludes the arrest from any violation of the reporting clause in the Constitution.'

Seance' Spicer twitted from under a rose bush that the reporter wasn't really a reporter because he wasn't reporting anything, just yelling about explosives. And, we can't have someone screaming bomb every time a box full of cats or maybe not full of cats is found by the Justice Department.

When asked why are there cats in the boxes, he repeated, 'There could be communist cats in the boxes. Maybe there aren't communist cats.'

While this exchange continued, a homeless man who looked a lot like Woody Harralson's dad, approached the boxes. Spectators, as no reporters could have been reporting what hadn't happened yet, said the man grabbed the boxes and began running down Pennsylvania Avenue.

Various reports by reporters reporting claimed the man had political motivations in stealing the boxes of cats that might not be in the boxes. Some heard him shout, "Wait 'til I get to the Grassy Knoll with this shit!"

A New England Patriot's linebacker who was not visiting the White House tackled the homeless man. That is when the boxes were dropped and broke open. The Capital police, the FBI, and Seance' Spicer threw their bodies over the broken boxes. Some reporters reported erroneously that Amy Shummer had been thrown onto the boxes. These reporters reported in a later report that it wasn't Amy. It was Melissa McCarthy.

Finally, a deep voice, perhaps that of a man speaking from the shadow filled area of the new parking garage said, 'It's not about pussy!'

We are awaiting a news Conference for pre-reporters at the Rose Garden. A preview of the topic confirms our worst fears.

'We cannot confirm or deny the existence of any communist cats at this time.'

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Latest Spicer Picture


Another view:

Trump order roses for himself

Republicans wouldn't send him candy. He gets no roses from the men he fucks. So, he has to buy his own.

From: Me

To: Me

Message: I love you.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Noose tightens on Putin and Republicans

Troubled? Troubled!?

A CEO of a family corporation worth billions, makes a hundred grand doing a reality TV show based on the tag line, "You're fired."

The Republicans nominate that CEO and elects him President of the United States. And, when that CEO acts like the tyrant in a Hollywood movie about all that can go wrong in a Banana Republic, all you have to say,

"I feel a little troubled by the second firing of a top federal law enforcement officer involved in the investigation of Russian election interference and international Republican collusion to seize our government."

Read the quote about being troubled while watching Democracy being beaten to death.

Six Reasons Comey might have been fired.

My Six Reasons Comey was fired.

1. Under oath, Comey admitted to be nauseated by Republicans in the White House.
2. Insecure old fart in the White House has to sleep in his New Jersey doghouse because his Russian bride said, 'No way, Jose!'
3. Presidents can't fire comedians on Saturday Night Live.
4. There's a secret war in Cambodia where we are illegally fighting Godless Communists.
5. There were no alien ships or bodies in Area 51.
6. Putin said, "Kim Jong Un told me, you have a little dick and can't get it up without Science. And, Comey told me it was true!"

FBI Director James Comey

Trump has fired FBI Director James Comey

Source

Monday, May 8, 2017

Kill the deer now! Before the world ends.

I like this little essay.

Its Republican flavor goes well with fava beans and micro beer.


Yes, I channeled my inner Doctor Lecter. Because if we're really going to save the world, it won't help to eat Bambi.

No. We all need to unchain the basic survival instinct, Eat or be eaten.


Sunday, May 7, 2017

Putin

Alexander Putin ... visited my blog yesterday. Said he was from Russia.

Right.

He needed to wire money to his cousin, Daniel Trump but needed me to help.

So I said, 'Sure. A lot of my Russian visitors need financial help.'

So here's what I did today.

I rented a golf cart, bought a bag of new golf clubs, and sat in the parking lot of Robbie Jonsing Golf Course in Atlanta. I waited for a man to approach me. The code phrase for his greeting?

Do you wanna beat the bushes?

My coded reply?

I've got the clubs if you've got the balls.

His confirmation phrase?

Grab them by the pudding and let's go beat the bushes.

I couldn't make that up.

He directed me to the third dogleg on the right and headed straight into the rough. Then, out of bounds. Then, into the woods where he began beating the bushes with his driver.

No, he didn't use me to beat the bushes, He borrowed my new driver. Oh, Hello. I'm confused.

So I asked, Why are we doing this.

He replied with a straight face.

"This is the only way to beat the Bushes.'

Okay.

So are we looking for something?

'Yes, a toupee filled with a billion dollars.'

Well, that will never happen.

So I helped beat the bushes, kicked the bald man in the balls, hocked the golf cart instead of returning it, and sold the golf clubs on Craigslist.

Well, my ad was honest.

One set of golf clubs. Never used on the course. Used to beat bush, kick balls, and find billions of dollars hidden under a toupee. Bag included.

Some one named BoredUs bought the clubs and had me ship them to New Jersey, COD.

I don't make this stuff up. It just happens as I type.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Things

If you're reading my posts, Remember:

I am not connected to any organized political group.

I consider myself Infonews.Russian.Cossack.altfact.altopinion.conspiracyalt.dumb.

I am a nut case.

I make things up so I can screw around on the Internet.

I love me some Republican meatloaf.

I don't think I'm rational but I ain't crazy.

I believe in comma's but not ...

Mostly, you'd have to be insane to believe what I say but check the links. Some are real.

If you don't like it, don't read it with your coffee.

Deal signed Guns on Campus law to help Karen Handel

Ossoff

He stands on the edge of victory in the 6th Congressional District. He's so close that Governor Nathan Deal signed into law provisions for students to carry guns to school.

That's right. I could return to college and carry any kind of gun to class. No teacher could stop me. No security or police. I could sleep in my class while using 'it for a pillow.'

I could load my car with as many guns as I wanted. All loaded. And, it someone saw my guns as I got out my book bag, no one would have a legal right to even ask me, do you have a concealed gun permit.

Stupid law. It would allow me to carry an arsenal, drive up to a student meeting, and open fire. All in the name of

ELECTING KAREN HANDEL.

Don't think so? I do. Handel is a college drop out type with only a high school diploma whose ambition runs as far as being President of the United States?

Don't think Handel could become President? Elect her to Congress. Get her the position as Speaker of the House, then she won't need to be elected.

'Guns for Karen,' the latest law passed during an election cycle to rally Republicans to the polls.


More on the reaction by police:

"Georgia's public university presidents and police chiefs were strongly opposed the bill. It now falls on them to figure out how to implement it before the next school year begins."

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Casey Cagle lied, more than once, to the Security and Exchange Commission, SEC

Ask Mr. Lt. Gov., Lowell Stacy Cagle, about his qualifications for leading the development of Southern Heritage Bank and he'll say,

"I ran a prom dress and tuxedo rental company."

That's what he must say to be truthful and in compliance with his signed campaign disclosures.

But, he didn't say that.

He proudly said, 'I'm a business consultant for a corporation with a million shares of stock which was founded pretty much yesterday and won't exist for more than ninety days when I will abandon it."

Works for me. Worked for him. Fooled the Georgia Department of Banking and Finance. Fooled all the people investing in the bank. Well, it didn't fool those investors who knew Cagle never provided consulting services for a fee in his entire life. There's a list of those people. Most of them became members of the first Board of Directors, Southern Heritage Bank, Oakwood, Georgia.

You can read about that online with a little research through the SEC and federal government websites.

You can't get any information from Banking and Finance in Georgia. I know. I've asked.

You might ask why the under capitalized bank was allowed to open when other under capitalized banks were not.

Oh, that's right. Cagle had some sort of family connection between the bank and the state.

Just good old fashioned Southern corruption. Not a crime.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Casey Cagle changed his name

Lowell

His mother named him Lowell Stacy Cagle.

He became known as Casey because he couldn't pronounce Stacy, his girlish middle name.

He didn't want to be called Lowell, a great name with no meaning. Maybe he couldn't say Lowell either.

So Stacy became Casey who became wealthy, only after getting elected to the Georgia Senate.

I'll write some more about Mr. Cagle as his doomed run for Governor staggers us.

But, why did Hall County's favorite son open his greatest political campaign in Gwinnett County?