Trump Bans

Just released via Twitter for immediate retort:

By executive order, by the power invested in me in the unrigged election where I won the popular vote by 'millions,' the following words are banned.

Ray-ban

Bananas

Slurban

Ameban

Urban

Goban

All these bans are banned until the current Mulban ban is banned. Until then, all words ending in ban will be replaced with Trumpban.

Trump at Work

From a co-worker: The women in the march were single, ugly, and never had a man and never will.

Being work, my response was mild. "Oh no. Most of them were housewives with nothing else to do."

Single Conservative men over the age of 25 with no girlfriends don't get sarcasm.

Trump's accomplishments on first weekend in office

Donald Trump just named MVP of NFC Championship Game.

Afterwards, he played 18 holes of golf and scored 19 holes in one.

Per White House Press release marked, "Alternative facts."

Trump at work

At work. Two of my co-workers told me the Clintons had closed down their 'foundation,' taken down the website, and were shredding documents. They're going to be in prison for the rest of their lives. Trump's keeping his promise to arrest her.

So, being work, my response was mild. 'Oh wow! No shit! You're not kidding me are you?'

No. The website has been taken down.

So I opened the website which is very against policy. 'Hey! It's still working!'

But it doesn't work. Trump has probably seized it to get donor lists. No one can donate now, especially the Saudi Princes.

So, I made a $25 donation while they watched.

Still unconvinced, they began showing me editorial headlines.

So I showed them Snopes.

So they showed me a FoxNews link.

So I read the content to them. On August 22, Bill Clinton announced the downsizing of the Global Initiative, which operates under the Foundation umbrella. All employees had been notified of the coming change to take effect, January 1, 2017.

I had a quiet night at work after that.

Trump's wall and gun control