Here's what I've heard really happened in Vegas.
A group of ISIS terrorists traveled from Iraq on fake Israeli passports, brought machine guns with them through customs with help from the CIA and Facebook, walked through a casino with the guns and ammo without anyone noticing, rented a dozen rooms, blew the windows out with plastic explosives, used tracers rounds in the darkness to target country music haters, after kidnapping a real estate millionaire with huge gambling debts to the Italian mob, and after eating room service pork BBQ ribs, and having sex with under aged male prostitutes, and not tipping room service.
They all escaped by hiding behind the slot machines being operated by blue hair old ladies on fixed incomes. Sadly, the terrorists are trapped there until the ladies leave. That's when the pink elephants dance on the craps tables. As soon as that happens, the terrorists escape by walking backwards out the casino doors and into a waiting stretched Humvee limo with hot tub.
Does that pretty much cover it?
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Monday, October 2, 2017
The Gun Store Incident
After the Vegas disaster pushed the hurricane disasters off the front page, my hatred of guns returned.
So I went down to the local gun store. Got in line and listened to all the reasons for buying a gun.
'My wife said I could have a butter knife or a Glock. She didn't care if a spread butter or blood. She said, 'Just get off the sofa and do something with your life. So, I'll take the Glock with the bayonet mounting rail.'
'I spent the weekend shopping for a new truck. The bank turned me down for the $51,000 loan. If I can't have a real man's truck, I'm getting the AR with that round, drum magazine, and a case of bullets. Do you have in house financing?'
'Plasma rifle with a 40 watt range.' Sorry, fella. What you see is what you get. 'SUV with a cow catcher bumper.'
'My wife said I could have a blow job for my birthday but I just can't wait.'
'He said his Ford was faster than my Chevy. So I raced him, title for title. Now that I'm walking, I'll need a gun to catch his ass.'
So I went down to the local gun store. Got in line and listened to all the reasons for buying a gun.
'My wife said I could have a butter knife or a Glock. She didn't care if a spread butter or blood. She said, 'Just get off the sofa and do something with your life. So, I'll take the Glock with the bayonet mounting rail.'
'I spent the weekend shopping for a new truck. The bank turned me down for the $51,000 loan. If I can't have a real man's truck, I'm getting the AR with that round, drum magazine, and a case of bullets. Do you have in house financing?'
'Plasma rifle with a 40 watt range.' Sorry, fella. What you see is what you get. 'SUV with a cow catcher bumper.'
'My wife said I could have a blow job for my birthday but I just can't wait.'
'He said his Ford was faster than my Chevy. So I raced him, title for title. Now that I'm walking, I'll need a gun to catch his ass.'
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