Hillary Clinton won election

Hillary Clinton won the election.

NRA fixed the results.

Bennie Sanders should be Vice President.

Fake news.

Nunes Memo

Memo on stickie pad forces US to outsource criminal investigations to Crystal Balls R Us, a security and investigation firm in continuous operation for 15,000 years.

For those who are counting by the Bible, they predate God.

They must be good. Way better than FBI or MI5.1.

Winning.

Bad joke

According to a fake new poll, 54 percent of Republican voters don’t believe Trump was the best choice for president, they wished they’d picked someone else. Kind of like when you go to buy a shirt. You see all these shirts, plain patterns, regular shirts. They look OK but not exciting. Then tucked in the middle of all these plain shirts, you see this totally awesome shirt. It’s bold. It’s different. It doesn’t play by the other shirts’ rules. You buy it, you get home, you try the shirt on, you look at yourself in the mirror and then your wife walks in and says, “What the hell are you wearing?”

Really old, bad joke

Donald Trump

Another bad joke

Yesterday, a glitch kept sending iPhones the same CNN news alert repeatedly. But if I wanted to be annoyed by the same CNN news alert over and over, I'd just watch CNN for five minutes.