Here's what I've heard really happened in Vegas.
A group of ISIS terrorists traveled from Iraq on fake Israeli passports, brought machine guns with them through customs with help from the CIA and Facebook, walked through a casino with the guns and ammo without anyone noticing, rented a dozen rooms, blew the windows out with plastic explosives, used tracers rounds in the darkness to target country music haters, after kidnapping a real estate millionaire with huge gambling debts to the Italian mob, and after eating room service pork BBQ ribs, and having sex with under aged male prostitutes, and not tipping room service.
They all escaped by hiding behind the slot machines being operated by blue hair old ladies on fixed incomes. Sadly, the terrorists are trapped there until the ladies leave. That's when the pink elephants dance on the craps tables. As soon as that happens, the terrorists escape by walking backwards out the casino doors and into a waiting stretched Humvee limo with hot tub.
Does that pretty much cover it?
Showing posts with label ISIS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ISIS. Show all posts
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Putin invades Egypt. Saves 80,000 Russians.
It's true.
The Russian President, hailed recently by the GOP as the kind of guy we need as our President, just saved 80,000 Russians.
The Cowboy Cossack acted to save his people after 224 people aboard a Russian passenger plane were blown out of the sky and their parts scattered over miles of desert.
Ever the bold strong man, Putin stripped off his shirt during a press conference on Friday when announcing his line in the sand program, retaliation for the 224 murders.
"Russia will leave no stone upturned, no cheese on the table, nor coats on a hat rack until I have flown into Egypt and saved the 80,000 Russians currently held in Egypt in tourist resorts."
Having publicly mixed his metaphors and bared his love handles, Egypt responded, "Come and get them."
Putin promptly dispatched military planes disguised as private airliners from 27 cities. In the haste to save the Russians, tons of luggage fell into the hands of working class Egyptians and other Middle Easterners.
Putin denied abandoning the personal belongings, pledging to retrieve it all once the Russian tourists provide valid claim checks.
Please 'stand by' until this blog updates this post to more closely match the stories out of Moscow.
The Russian President, hailed recently by the GOP as the kind of guy we need as our President, just saved 80,000 Russians.
The Cowboy Cossack acted to save his people after 224 people aboard a Russian passenger plane were blown out of the sky and their parts scattered over miles of desert.
Ever the bold strong man, Putin stripped off his shirt during a press conference on Friday when announcing his line in the sand program, retaliation for the 224 murders.
"Russia will leave no stone upturned, no cheese on the table, nor coats on a hat rack until I have flown into Egypt and saved the 80,000 Russians currently held in Egypt in tourist resorts."
Having publicly mixed his metaphors and bared his love handles, Egypt responded, "Come and get them."
Putin promptly dispatched military planes disguised as private airliners from 27 cities. In the haste to save the Russians, tons of luggage fell into the hands of working class Egyptians and other Middle Easterners.
Putin denied abandoning the personal belongings, pledging to retrieve it all once the Russian tourists provide valid claim checks.
Please 'stand by' until this blog updates this post to more closely match the stories out of Moscow.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Obama wins where Bush lost
This is a serious editorial reflecting a personal opinion.
Our country has a very mixed history of international relations. Few of use can remember when the United Fruit Company used the CIA and the American Ambassador to Guatemala to over throw a lawfully elected government. The story and the facts have been very well documented. It was called Operation Success.
So, as we bomb ISIS, reflect on several issues.
We are not above bombing our allies for a few bananas.
We have used mercenaries for the benefit of corporations.
We have toppled governments by using fake armies and fear.
Bush, and his cronies, would have bombed in Syria sooner than Obama. They would have pronounced Mission Accomplished with a shit on bread ceremony.e The survivors of the premature bombing would have gotten smarter. They would have come back just like in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Obama waited until his enemies were well organized and successful. Then, he hit a few battle field targets perhaps as a distraction. The next step was to bomb the chain of command.
Could the Bush Doctrine destroy ISIS. No. What about the resolute and deliberate method of waiting to strike? No.
We will not eliminate any enemy. We can only respond to threats, real threats not the perceived threat of 'actionable intelligence.
Our country has a very mixed history of international relations. Few of use can remember when the United Fruit Company used the CIA and the American Ambassador to Guatemala to over throw a lawfully elected government. The story and the facts have been very well documented. It was called Operation Success.
The CIA exerted air power against the Árbenz Government with a "Liberation Air Force" of US military and mercenary personnel who conducted air raids against Guatemalan military targets and cities. Early in the morning of 27 June 1954, a CIA Lockheed P-38M Lightning attacked Puerto San José and dropped napalm bombs on the British cargo ship, SS Springfjord, on charter to the US company W.R. Grace and Company Line, which was being loaded with Guatemalan cotton and coffee.
So, as we bomb ISIS, reflect on several issues.
We are not above bombing our allies for a few bananas.
We have used mercenaries for the benefit of corporations.
We have toppled governments by using fake armies and fear.
Bush, and his cronies, would have bombed in Syria sooner than Obama. They would have pronounced Mission Accomplished with a shit on bread ceremony.e The survivors of the premature bombing would have gotten smarter. They would have come back just like in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Obama waited until his enemies were well organized and successful. Then, he hit a few battle field targets perhaps as a distraction. The next step was to bomb the chain of command.
Could the Bush Doctrine destroy ISIS. No. What about the resolute and deliberate method of waiting to strike? No.
We will not eliminate any enemy. We can only respond to threats, real threats not the perceived threat of 'actionable intelligence.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Obama and ISIL
Presidents get all the shitty jobs that Congress won't do.
If Congress doesn't back the President on ISIL, then the President has to go it alone.
If the Congress gives a chilly ok, the President is still going it alone.
Will Congress support the President in what many war hawks already call a war?
If Congress doesn't back the President on ISIL, then the President has to go it alone.
If the Congress gives a chilly ok, the President is still going it alone.
Will Congress support the President in what many war hawks already call a war?
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