Putin invades Egypt. Saves 80,000 Russians.

It's true.

The Russian President, hailed recently by the GOP as the kind of guy we need as our President, just saved 80,000 Russians.

The Cowboy Cossack acted to save his people after 224 people aboard a Russian passenger plane were blown out of the sky and their parts scattered over miles of desert.

Ever the bold strong man, Putin stripped off his shirt during a press conference on Friday when announcing his line in the sand program, retaliation for the 224 murders.

"Russia will leave no stone upturned, no cheese on the table, nor coats on a hat rack until I have flown into Egypt and saved the 80,000 Russians currently held in Egypt in tourist resorts."

Having publicly mixed his metaphors and bared his love handles, Egypt responded, "Come and get them."

Putin promptly dispatched military planes disguised as private airliners from 27 cities. In the haste to save the Russians, tons of luggage fell into the hands of working class Egyptians and other Middle Easterners.

Putin denied abandoning the personal belongings, pledging to retrieve it all once the Russian tourists provide valid claim checks.

Please 'stand by' until this blog updates this post to more closely match the stories out of Moscow.