A private investigator, driving a red Ferrari, stole a DNA sample from Donald Trump while the President was visiting Hawaii looking for a long form birth certificate.
The PI's two accomplishes, named Zeus and Apollo, kept the Secret Service at bay during the robbery.
The DNA evidence was read out by Maury Povich during a break from commercials selling Reverse Mortgages.
The evidence is in. Donald Trump is the father of Stormy Daniels and the father of Olaf.
Could be? Fake News? Scored some bad pizza and grew a warped sense of humor? Papa John's!
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