Weather story of the day

Yes, it's raining hard in Georgia.

'How hard is it raining?'

'Well, on my way to work, some guy in a tuxedo and top hat passed me on Atlanta Highway driving a deck chair from the Titanic.'

'Think that's bad? I was filling up at the QT and a river was running through the parking lot. These two guys in hip waders were trout fishing in the middle of it.'

'Yeah, I was there when the DNR officer arrested them for being in the river without a life jacket. Damn DNR is everywhere.'

'Yeah, it was just as well. The wake from that U-boat would have killed them for sure.'

'How do you know that?'

'I was bank fishing when it came by! Nearly capsized a F350 and a BMW. Wish it had got the BMW.'

'Which bank were you fishing? The Suntrust Bank or the Wells Fargo?'

'Oh, the Suntrust. I don't dare get close to the Wells this close to the end of the month. Hungry loan officers you know.'

'Oh yeah. I've hooked a few by accident. They used to be pretty fat. Not so much since '06. Ever try to cook one?'

'I thought about it once. They're not as tough as you think they are. Not many bones, either.'

'You're right about that. I've never seen one with a spine.'

'Uh huh. They do get bold in a group but all you have to do is yell, Underwriter! That makes them scatter.'

'Hey! Speaking of scatter, that U-boat. Was it the U571 or the U48?'

'It was the U48. U571 never goes north of the 404 in winter.'

'Well, global warming might change all that.'

'Yup. Even the DNR guy said that global warming might cause some changes in the winter and people's lives.'

'He don't know nothing. He's with the government. Global warming is a hoax designed to drive up the price of our coffee.'

'Yup. Before this global warming scare, I could get a cup of coffee, with real creamer, and all the sugar I wanted for less than a dollar!'

'In a real cup with a handle!'

'Free refills and a 'Do you want a cup to go' offer when I got ready to leave!'

'Now that we got this global warming thing going on, they serve coffee in painted blow foam cups. Without handles. And, some cardboard ring around them. No refills. And, the sugar is packed in tiny envelopes.'

'Damn right! People stand in line to get that sugar. Push on your elbow and make you spill half. Ought to make the paper dissolve. Just drop them in, stir, and there you go.'

'Oh forget that! We used to have that. Called them sugar cubes.'

'I didn't like them either. The only right way to sweeten coffee is with pure, granulated white sugar poured in a thick stream from one of them glass jars with the dome shaped tin tops.'

'Yeah, but those days are gone.'

'Yup. Nothing to do now but sit around and talk about the weather.'

'Yes, it's raining hard in Georgia.'

'How hard is it raining?'

'Well, on my way to work, some guy in a tuxedo and top hat passed me on Atlanta Highway driving a deck chair from the Titanic.'

'Think that's bad? I was filling up at the QT and a river was running through the parking lot. These two guys in hip waders were trout fishing in the middle of it.'

'Yeah, I was there when the DNR officer arrested them for being in the river without a life jacket. Damn DNR is everywhere.'

'Yeah, it was just as well. The wake from that U-boat would have killed them for sure.'

'How do you know that?'

'I was bank fishing when it came by! Nearly capsized a F350 and a BMW. Wish it had got the BMW.'

'Which bank were you fishing? The Suntrust Bank or the Wells Fargo?'

'Oh, the Suntrust. I don't dare get close to the Wells this close to the end of the month. Hungry loan officers you know.'

'Oh yeah. I've hooked a few by accident. They used to be pretty fat. Not so much since '06. Ever try to cook one?'

'I thought about it once. They're not as tough as you think they are. Not many bones, either.'

'You're right about that. I've never seen one with a spine.'

'Uh huh. They do get bold in a group but all you have to do is yell, Underwriter! That makes them scatter.'

'Hey! Speaking of scatter, that U-boat. Was it the U571 or the U48?'

'It was the U48. U571 never goes north of the 404 in winter.'

'Well, global warming might change all that.'

'Yup. Even the DNR guy said that global warming might cause some changes in the winter and people's lives.'

'He don't know nothing. He's with the government. Global warming is a hoax designed to drive up the price of our coffee.'

'Yup. Before this global warming scare, I could get a cup of coffee, with real creamer, and all the sugar I wanted for less than a dollar!'

'In a real cup with a handle!'

'Free refills and a 'Do you want a cup to go' offer when I got ready to leave!'

'Now that we got this global warming thing going on, they serve coffee in painted blow foam cups. Without handles. And, some cardboard ring around them. No refills. And, the sugar is packed in tiny envelopes.'

'Damn right! People stand in line to get that sugar. Push on your elbow and make you spill half. Ought to make the paper dissolve. Just drop them in, stir, and there you go.'

'Oh forget that! We used to have that. Called them sugar cubes.'

'I didn't like them either. The only right way to sweeten coffee is with pure, granulated white sugar poured in a thick stream from one of them glass jars with the dome shaped tin tops.'

'Yeah, but those days are gone.'

'Yup. Nothing to do now but sit around and talk about the weather.'