GOP Senate Candidates showering with Obama

While the Star and Inquirer broke the real story behind Obama and his long term affairs with Catherine Kennedy, Kellie Ripa, and Ruth Lyons granddaughter, Republicans voters have the real story behind the Soap on a Rope Scandal.

Depending on which campaign mailing list serves your email address. Jack Kingston ... or David Perdue ... have been showering with President Obama. According to Talking Heads R U, one or both candidates have a shower pass at the White House on a once per week basis.

Jack Kingston first showered with Obama in 1992 promising he would stop washing after three terms in office.

David Perdue was caught without his Soap on a Rope only once since turning 18. That was the election of who knows when. Maybe a primary when Perdue turned out to vote. Well, vote Republican. Perdue denies scrubbing behind his ears saying, "I'm a businessman not a professional politician."

We will give Perdue squeaky clean marks for his professional business like dealings with the Power Shower and Soap on the Rope Gang. After all, somebody ia always getting dirty in business and politics.

Karen Handel reversed her earlier stance on hot water, soap, and standing up. She's now a proper stand up Southern Republican lady who drinks Southern Sweet Ice Tea and never sweats. Soap never touches her skin especially on her face. Besides, Handel knows more about everything because she never attended a Beauty College.

Paul Broun made no comments during the Soap on a Rope scandal until an official press release this evening. Doctor Paul Broun has never used Soap on a Rope. He has not used it here. He has not used it there. Doctor Broun has always washed his hands like doctor about to perform a later term abortion.

Phil Gingrey has changed his official bio page to include details of his weekly showering rituals. He sings Italian Opera with a lisp every Friday night in cold water from his neighbors garden hose. This weak attempt to gain his own scandal backfired when his neighbor denied owning a hose that long. The neighbors wife signed a statement swearing, "I've never seen anything that long in our neighbor. Ever." Phil's exciting campaign may be nearing an end as rumors swirl around a bath tub ring.

Art Gardner and Derrick Grayson, political outsiders, did not understand the importance of good political hygiene. Press releases from their campaigns failed to deny or affirm a preference for standing or sitting when soaped.