Another New Year, the same old Doug Collins

Doug Collins? Who the frack is Doug Collins?

Well Holy Irony, Batman, he's my Congressman and a Guest Columnist with the Gainesville Times. And a former lawyer like so many Congress members.

He's laying it on pretty deep in his column, One Language Unites a Nation. Shades of Imperialism.

Congressman Collins would like to extend Congressional reach all the way to your lips with a new law making English the official language of the United States. What the hell are people going to speak in south Georgia as their Redneck English ain't official nuttin'?

The Great Man sees 'English as something that necessarily unifies the citizens of the United States.' Sort of like how guns make sleeping babies safer and carpet bombing remodels cities. He goes on to say that, "If there is any day for the American people to be united, it should be the day we make our voices heard at the ballot box."

Election day unites us? Really, Master Collins. The only way you won an election was by dividing the people with misinformation, in English. Things like calling the current President 'lawless.' Dude, you refused to even listen to the 2016 Budget submitted to Congress by the President. Who's fucking lawless?

Let's take a swing on how well official language unite a country by looking at Pakistan. They have an official language, actually two including English. Collins must be proud, eh? English sure unites Pakistan, the final hiding place of bin Laden. The Pakistani national language, also the other official language, is Urdu.

I said Urdu. It bears repeating because it is not the Mother Language of the people as only 8% of the general population are born native Urdu speakers.

So how did Urdu become the national language? If we believe the well educated and right thinking Doug Collins, the Pakistani people quietly developed this language to unify a country. Only, he would have to admit the British forced Urdu on the Pakistani people way back in 1849 when the Southern United States were teaching English as the only acceptable language among human slaves. Luckily, to use some words from Collins, "Generations of immigrants to the United States have gladly accepted the considerable challenge of learning English" which includes the considerable challenge posed by shackles, chains, and collars.

Well, I wish Collins, one of 73 proud co-sponsors of this unifying, urgent, and essential law, good luck with uniting people by passing one law when Congressman Collins won't read the lawfully presented United States budget for 2017. I'm glad he consulted with voters in his North Georgia district through town hall meetings presenting his ideas for review and public comment before busting his pants in pride at being 1 of 73 sponsors of a really bad law.

Nice work. Just ignore the important things being written in English and write worthless laws about grammar. You can do it.