The International Policy Think Tank, also known as Fox News, has been organizing a mercenary army of women, 100% blonde.
Under Hair General Lauren Engles, the Blonde Army has already used the highest technology to confuse Liberal Idiots Educated and Successful (LIES). Bleach!
Despite warnings from the FDA and the UN, the chemical poison, stored in leaky glass bottles, figures in the coming full frontal assaults on the soon to be defeated thinking heads.
Speaking quietly through a bull horn, neighbors overheard plans to use legs and boots on the ground when confronting LIES.
"When Hair General says attack, you will throw bleach on your hair, flash your red nails, and smile. Smile, dammit! Show me your war face! The face you used to get your first husband!"
The army recruited cross dressing men from Lax Vegas as hand to hand combat instructors. Think about a divorced woman forced to spend a whole night in stilettos on a Lax Vegas street corner in head to head competition. Things will get ugly sooner rather than later.
From the high heeled mean streets of Lax recruits move into Waffle Houses and Hooters. Only officer grade Blondes get their training at Hooters. [Hooters has changed its name to Peaks after some trainees were exposed].
Waffle House has denied training women for combat.
"Yeah, some of our waitresses can dish it out, but we don't allow stilettos and mesh hoses types to handle silverware."
A tip to the general male population, until the Blonde Army deploys overseas, tip well and always maintain eye to eye contact.
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