Russian Separatists attacked Putin in a failed assassination attempt yesterday. Using fidget spinners in the first militarization of the harmless toys, Two men, disguised as street vendors, stopped a motorcade containing 700 personal trainers, a horse, and Putin.
The would be assassins twirled multiple spinners in the newest display of martial arts which immobilized the 700 personal trainers and alledged froze Putin.
Putin's horse, also in the motorcade, immediately recognized the danger. After kicking its way out of the gilded animal trailer, it charged the assassins, scattering the men and their deadly spinners.
Freed from the spin induced coma, the 700 personal trainers, in a rare public display of Russian Flash Mob, the trainers quickly formed a phalanx, singing Thriller.
A Western Journalist captured the Flash Mob on video.
This is the only evidence of the failed assassination.
According to a Russian press release three hours later, 7 bearing factories exploded in China and India.
Unrelated story on Putin and fidget spinners.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment