Hey, You! Asshole ...

I am semi-retired meaning I work part-time at a menial job. It keeps me off the couch and out of the house. Both very good things as we age. My pain levels are down. I sleep better. But, my little delivery job puts me in direct contact with the public.

Yesterday, a mechanic showed me his greasy black hands. "Guess who I am?," he said. "Obama!" was his punch line. For those not well schooled in White Southern Speak, Obama means: That fucking nigger in my White House.

Yeah, it does.

As required by my employer, I did my job functions and went on to the ne"xt delivery stop. It didn't get any better.

At the tire shop, the owner was being engaged by a outside Salesperson pushing this weeks money saving special. Something was said about anyone with a brain would buy the product. That moved into only Planned Parenthood can sell brains and make money.

So I lost control of self censorship.

"Hey."

Followed by my warmest personal smile.

"In 2010, I ran for public office and Planned Parenthood endorsed me as a candidate. I remain proud of that endorsement as Planned Parenthood does a lot more good for women and family than any other organization in the United States. It's not just an abortion mill as some would have us believe."

I didn't stop. Couldn't.

"How do you think doctors learn how to perform abortions? Medical schools. Every student in med school goes through an Ob/gyn rotation. Ob/gyn doctors do abortions in hospitals. Nearly every doctor will perform an abortion as a part of their med school training."

(Here's are some sources to back that up. UCSF Medical Center, Time magazine, ...

"So pretty much ... every practicing doctor and every existing hospital has performed an abortion."

Where did that get me? It got this response:

"Yeah, but did they force the woman to have an abortion even when she didn't want one?"

I held my tongue as that is the proper response to assholes with no brains.

"You will someday regret not doing a little evil to accomplish a greater good."

What if we wore our underwear inside out?

First, think about it. Who would know? Who would care? Would you tell someone?

Second, think about how underwear is constructed. SEAMS! The fabric is sewn together with the seams to your skin. Why not put the smooth side against our silky smooth baby bottom for the ultimate in comfort?

Third and most important. Anthony Wiener and the whole Republican Party think from 'inside the boxers.'

Here's what I propose for real men. Tomorrow, turn those seams around. Proudly wear your boxers inside out. Tell no one but wear a face of defiance. Because ...

Today, I think outside the boxers!

Those of you still in briefs or whitie tighties, don't try this. To be as polite as possible, if you are wearing a tight turban, turning it inside out doesn't change a thing.