Dueling Campaign ads

How I see dueling political ads, using 'Mike Parker' as the candidate's name.

Mike Parker has brown hair.

No, Mike Parker is bald.

I'm Mike Parker and I have black hair.

I've seen Mike Parker and he has gray hair.

"I've never tried to hide my gray hair."

Mike Parker is a member of a Hair Club cult.

"I've never been a member of the Hair Club for Men."

They're all the same when it comes to hair!

He has hair on his back!

He protects the environment by not washing his hair.

He had hair before he didn't have hair!

"I could shave my head on Fifth Avenue and still get elected."

Hair is not an issue to me.

I don't care and I'm going to vote for him anyway.

I'll never vote for him!

"I'm Mike Parker and I paid for this mess."