Karen Handel graduates high school. Secret up gown pictures found on Jon Ossoff shoes.

Robbie, the Friendly Opinion Bot, shared my morning coffee. Gosh, he's a great bot. Always polite and as well mannered as a modern Rhett Butler.

After he poured me a second cup of my homemade covfefe latte, he got quiet then asked me in that smooth contralto bot voice, 'What's been bothering you, Mike?'
LIke a good penitent, I confessed, 'My news feed seems thinner than the feed all my friends get."

Robbie waved his arms and I thought he was going to say, "Warning, Will Robinson!" Finally, he retracted those lovable arms and said, "You're not getting out as much as your friends. It's narrowing your bot interactions. Go visit the wireless at a high end coffee house. Maybe get some food at a convenient, chain restaurant with free wireless in the dining area. No more drive-thru, Mike. Go inside and meet the other bots. I can't give you all the fake news all by myself."


I knew I was going to recover when I heard Robbie say,

"'Ship my pants? Right here? Ship my pants, you're kidding,' the man says.
'You can ship you pants right here," the Kmart worker says.'"

Robbie new there's nothing like a retail commercial linking Big Gas and box stores to get my attention before refreshing my news feed with subliminal messages to make me feel happy as I borrow money from China to make my campaign contributions to 6th District Karen Handel.

Dueling Campaign ads

How I see dueling political ads, using 'Mike Parker' as the candidate's name.

Mike Parker has brown hair.

No, Mike Parker is bald.

I'm Mike Parker and I have black hair.

I've seen Mike Parker and he has gray hair.

"I've never tried to hide my gray hair."

Mike Parker is a member of a Hair Club cult.

"I've never been a member of the Hair Club for Men."

They're all the same when it comes to hair!

He has hair on his back!

He protects the environment by not washing his hair.

He had hair before he didn't have hair!

"I could shave my head on Fifth Avenue and still get elected."

Hair is not an issue to me.

I don't care and I'm going to vote for him anyway.

I'll never vote for him!

"I'm Mike Parker and I paid for this mess."