Thanksgiving

It's important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and sometimes are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring and loving thoughts right now.

May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares.

Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will! I did it for a friend and you can too! (You have to copy & paste this one, no sharing)

I saw this on a friends Facebook page. So in keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, I've stolen it to repost here.

Like many people, I wanted to say something about this time of year. Nothing authentic seemed available within me.

So many religions have celebrations including our general Thanksgiving. Two of my Islamic friends are celebrating their special end of year or beginning of year events. I don't want to sound like I know enough to name those. I'm not that smart or wise.

Just everyone take a deep breath. Hold it in. Close your eyes and think, "This could be my last breath." Then, open your eyes. Breath out.

You don't have to do anything with the energy from a last breath, but you can. You can.

It was a Saturday morning. My wife and I were headed to Myrtle Beach, SC. I had on shorts and flip flops. Something under the dash brushed my left leg. I looked down. “Damn car is falling apart! Look at that bundle of wires that just fell out of the dash.” That's what I thought. Really. "Gosh Darn Detroit and Tokyo, too." I started to reach for the thing and it MOVES!

Rather smoothly with no trace of anxiety I turned to my bride of 35 years and said, "Would you mind taking the wheel? CAUSE THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE CAR AND I GOTTA GOOOOOooooooo!"

You know 'that' woman didn't believe me. She thought it was another one of my tricks to make her drive so I could take a nap!

I had to grab the darn thing and hand it to her before she got serious. The wheel. NOT the snake. When I say, Take the wheel ... I mean take the wheel!

Like I was going to grab up under the dash to get a snake while doing a hundred and five. Hell. I didn't know my car could still do a hundred. Need to scare the carburetor more often.

So there I am, sitting in the backseat watching my wife Susan drive from the passenger seat. Dang. That was fun to watch. Glad the cruise control was set. I had a short conversation with my Maker while Susan did the Apache fertility and rain dance in her bucket seat.

If the dang snake had had any common sense, it would have tapped the brakes.

Pulled over at a gas station and did the Fill'er up and Check under the hood pantomime to the attendant. And, “Oh, would you mind ever so much to get the snake out of the dash?” Alas, there just no full service gas stations left.

Spent a good ten minutes sticking my feet out of the window while poking my left hand into all the hidden nooks behind the dash. Seriously, would you have used your right hand or your left hand to cover your mouth so you wouldn't scream like a girl every 3 seconds?

I learned that my wife can still scream "Get it out!" as loud now as she did that night 30 years ago when our first child was born weighing 11 pounds. The only difference was that this time I shared her sense of urgency.

Does the owners manual have a chapter on removing reptiles? Oh Heck NO!. I am going to write Nissan about that. It needs to go right after the section for removing dead cats from the alternator belt.

After 10 minutes the snake wasn't through with 'Hide n Seek.' So we came up with plan B. BURN THE CAR!

Plan C was to get back in the car and start driving again. Lull the snake into a false sense of security then grab it, beat it to death with a shoe, THEN burn the car just in case snakes are like cats and hide from humans to give birth.

Started back on the road with Susan doing the Lotus position. Me? I was the bait waiting for "Death" to grab my ankles again.

After about 10 miles, Susan says, "Turn the heat on."

I was only kidding about burning the car. After a "heated discussion," my wife got the honor of turning off my A/C and turning on the heat to drive The Serpent from it's hiding place.

Those who are old enough to remember the pleasures of 260 air conditioning, it hasn't changed any.

It just as hot driving 60 with 2 windows down as it is driving 60 with no windows down.

Slowly, the snake crawled out of the steering column trying to reach the A/C controls. Silly me. I snatched his wittle neck before he hit the ON button. My wife celebrated the capture with another chorus of “GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!”

Now things were really getting getting serious. I had my right hand on the steering wheel. A snake in my left hand. And, my wife was having flash backs to the birth of our second child who weighted a nice 11 pounds FIVE ounces. She never lets me forget about those five extra ounces of masculinity she produced just for me, her loving husband.

Despite the nearly over whelming desire to let go off the steering wheel to turn on the A/C, I guided the car safely to the next exit with a Love's Travel Center. Not only does the Love's chain of Travel Centers have the best gasoline prices and the cleanest restrooms, they also have showers.

Sometimes without a waiting list.

I pulled the car under the shade of the fueling island and discovered that the back half of the snake didn't really want to be evicted without proper legal notice. Do you know how to convince a snake's ass let go of the airbag?

Trust me. You don't want to just give it a sharp jerk. In the new owners manual, the manufacturer will provide graphic evidence that it is better to slowly remove reptiles in one piece than it is to clean up several sections of snake guts.

My arson trial starts in 3 weeks. I'm pleading self-defense.

Nightmares

When I'm not having night mares about Republicans, I have those regular ol' nightmares about snakes.

Last night, I dreamed a snake had laid eggs in my throat and the little crawlers were hatching.

In a panic, I ripped my throat out. That was a mistake. Did you know you can't scream without a throat?

All I could do was stagger out into the street covered with blood and baby snakes, holding the bloody mass that had been my throat.

Lucky for me, my neighbors are used to seeing me in worse shape. Even when I'm not dreaming. They speed dialed 911 for me. Again.

The ambulance was there quickly. I think they have my address pre-set in their GPS even in my nightmares. By the time the EMTs got me to Northeast Georgia Medical Center, three of the little vipers had been adopted. EMTs are very compassionate like that

I have to admit they were cute, too. The baby vipers not the EMTs.

I'm keeping the runt of the litter.

At the ER, Nurse Debbie and Doctor Bob got me into a treatment room right away. Sometimes, I think there is someone going on between those two. Heck, that room can't always be open just for me and my nightmares. I'll have to ask when I get my voice back.

Some Ob/Gyn came in to check on my progress. He said a natural delivery should have been done instead of that messy C-Section. He went on to say that with my big mouth, he could deliver a small truck and the Gettysburg address at the same time.

I thought about giving him a piece of my mind. He looked like that type who would put it in a glass jar and keep it in his office.

The customer service rep came in with a clip board asking me about my insurance coverage. I told her I had United Healthcare and she made an ugly face. I wasn’t really in the mood for that kind of judgmental body language. Wouldn't have bothered me at all, or it shouldn't have. After all, I had ripped my own throat out. But, still, she didn't have to be rude.

She enjoyed telling me that United Healthcare doesn't cover birthing no baby snakes at Northeast Georgia.

I qualified for Emergency Obamacare. It kicks in the year 2013 instead of 2014. I felt very lucky.

Things were winding down and I was feeling some of that post-partum blues when the Mother's attorney came in. She was suing me for custody and support and wanted a college scholarship fund.

I hope they like Georgia Tech.

I tried getting them into UGA but only Tech takes native born snakes.

Finally, my wife shocked me awake with a cattle prod. Sometimes a good nightmare is hard to leave. Last time, she used 110 volts. That left a scar!

She was rather PO'd at me again. Said I left the garage door up, my fishing poles on the deck, and my muddy boots in the closet. I'm smart enough after 35 years of marriage to say, "I'm sorry, Hun. I was kind of tired. I'll clean it up right now.

By the way, do you know where I put the worms?"

Red Rabbit, public transportation in Hall County

Hall County's Public transportation system is known as the Red Rabbit.

The Hall County Board of Commissioners hate it. Have been trying to destroy it. Nearly did so by raising ticket prices, cutting out free transfers, and reducing routes.

They really couldn't find a reason to do that except that the system didn't benefit county taxpayers, just people in Gainesville.

Odd. All people within Hall County pay taxes into the general funds, sales taxes which go to the county, and versions of SPLOST.

So the citizens of Gainesville were and are paying county taxes and getting nothing. Hall County was complaining about them being 'free riders.' That's sort of an economic term which fits really good in this transportation context.

So the city took over the Red Rabbit.

I'm damn glad.

See this link to the Gainesville Times for the success story.

Take a good look at the rider who blesses God for the Red Rabbit. Using a taxi would cost that man $20 a ride. The Red Rabbit, no more than a dollar each ride.

To me, that $19 difference is going to be spent with local merchants for food, clothes, medicine. If it goes to the taxi company? Tires, oil, gas ....

Charles Manson getting married

Yes, THAT Charles Manson.

Link

The GOP mantra of 'Marraige should be between a man and a woman.' has become "Marraige should be between a 79 year old convicted felon serving a life sentence and a 25 year woman named Star.'

Neither works for me.