Putin gives Republican Party leaders Order of Lenin medals made of Fools Gold

Putin sent a dozen 'Order of Lenin' medals to the USA via FedEx. The Justice Department intercepted the package. The CIA refused to open and inspect the boxes. The package being on domestic soil, the job fell to the FBI.

Being smarter than a cat, the FBI refused to open the boxes saying, 'if we open the box, a cat dies. Nobody wants to kill a cat.'

A reporter shouting questions from the street corner nearest the potentially explosive boxes was arrested. Jelly Konrad, Republican leadership spokesperson denied any connection with the reporter's arrest. 'Yes,' she said, ' we know the reporter. He's a reporter. But, he wasn't reporting at the time of his arrest. This precludes the arrest from any violation of the reporting clause in the Constitution.'

Seance' Spicer twitted from under a rose bush that the reporter wasn't really a reporter because he wasn't reporting anything, just yelling about explosives. And, we can't have someone screaming bomb every time a box full of cats or maybe not full of cats is found by the Justice Department.

When asked why are there cats in the boxes, he repeated, 'There could be communist cats in the boxes. Maybe there aren't communist cats.'

While this exchange continued, a homeless man who looked a lot like Woody Harralson's dad, approached the boxes. Spectators, as no reporters could have been reporting what hadn't happened yet, said the man grabbed the boxes and began running down Pennsylvania Avenue.

Various reports by reporters reporting claimed the man had political motivations in stealing the boxes of cats that might not be in the boxes. Some heard him shout, "Wait 'til I get to the Grassy Knoll with this shit!"

A New England Patriot's linebacker who was not visiting the White House tackled the homeless man. That is when the boxes were dropped and broke open. The Capital police, the FBI, and Seance' Spicer threw their bodies over the broken boxes. Some reporters reported erroneously that Amy Shummer had been thrown onto the boxes. These reporters reported in a later report that it wasn't Amy. It was Melissa McCarthy.

Finally, a deep voice, perhaps that of a man speaking from the shadow filled area of the new parking garage said, 'It's not about pussy!'

We are awaiting a news Conference for pre-reporters at the Rose Garden. A preview of the topic confirms our worst fears.

'We cannot confirm or deny the existence of any communist cats at this time.'

Putin Grabs Trump by the Pussy

I'd love to write a few headlines for Fox. I could do Trump grabs pussy by the Putin in all caps. I'm that talented.

However, my content sucks and it takes content to produce journalism worthy of respect and trust.

Now comes this story, a story about how America was fooled by Russian propaganda and elected Donald Fuck you All Trump as president.

“It was like Russia was running a super PAC for Trump’s campaign. . . . It worked.”

"The findings about the mechanics of Russian propaganda operations largely track previous research by the Rand Corp. and George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs."

“It’s starting to undermine our democratic system.”

“For them, it’s actually a real war, an ideological war, this clash between two systems.”

They were truly Bernie or Bust. NOT~

Putin Grabs Trump by the Pussy

I'd love to write a few headlines for Fox. I could do Trump grabs pussy by the Putin in all caps. I'm that talented.

However, my content sucks and it takes content to produce journalism worthy of respect and trust.

Now comes this story, a story about how America was fooled by Russian propaganda and elected Donald Fuck you All Trump as president.

“It was like Russia was running a super PAC for Trump’s campaign. . . . It worked.”

"The findings about the mechanics of Russian propaganda operations largely track previous research by the Rand Corp. and George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs."

“It’s starting to undermine our democratic system.”

“For them, it’s actually a real war, an ideological war, this clash between two systems.”

They were truly Bernie or Bust. NOT~