312 Cossacks and Counting

This week in blogging news, 312 Russian Cossacks have entered my blog. Three times as many Russians read my blog than Americans. The question which dumbfounds me is why do they visit a blog named North Georgia Democrats which has no affiliation with any political party?

Well, there was that post about Putin killing his gay lover. My sources, rather poor sources, claimed Putin went all Sharon Stone with an ice pick followed with a Silence of the Lambs dinner party with fava beans and a nice Vodka.

The story proved to be false. Putin did not kill his lover. His favorite butt buddy lives part time in New Jersey. Safe from the Russian grill. For now.

Then, I wrote that story about Putin and the Time Machine. Seriously, what would you do with a time machine if you were the Third Most Powerful Man in the World, with Obama being first and that Korean guy second? Would you meddle in the past or seek out future events? Most of us would travel forward but not a True Conservative. They would go meddle in the past.

So Putin traveled back and tried, over and over, to destroy the US. After 100's of trips, he destroyed the time machine. Someone heard him say, it works out better this way. Hold my beer.

Then, Marx met Lenin in the Pope's purgatory. It was a true story. But, dasvidaniya Comrades! I gave first billing to Marx who never killed 20 million people. Oh, that must have hurt.

So, I just don't know what could attract an audience in a totalitarian country. Shrug.

Trump replaced with Russian double during sex party

It's over. Over. Done. Fini!

Unsubstantiated rumours from Helofaplace have not been confirmed as proving anything but if we believe the rumours never reported, ...

the Russians replaced Donald Trump during a sex party with a Cossack back in 1918 using a time machine invented by aliens!

Why 1918 and Trump and Cossacks? Huge hands! Yes, Huge Hands!

Lenin and Stalin, traveling in an alien time machine built to look just like the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, not to be confused with the Anthony Weiner mobiles, visited several sex parties at a discotek owned by Samual W. Frank. While in Sam Frank's disco, bumping and grinding to McFadden & Whitehead's,' Ain't No Stopping Us Now,' Lenin said to Stalin,

There've been so many things that have held us down
But now it looks like things are finally comin' around, yeah
I know we've got a long long way to go, yeah
And where we'll end up.

... it should be a Russian sex party attended by some decadent real estate developers with small hands, orange hair, and huge debts.

Which is when Stalin reportedly said, 'Can you say Golden Showers?'

Stalin had his favorite Capitalistic pet dog, Peabody, fire up the Whackado machine for 2013.

Well, those details from 2013 will be published in an Elvis expose' entitled, 'Who Killed Elvis Pressley?' printed on the skins of Teaparty leaders.

But, Stalin purged Lenin into history and destroyed Peabody and the Whackado machine before returning to 1918 humming,

Shake your money maker
shake your money maker