Jeff Sessions' Memory or memory loss

Not since President Ronald Reagan sold drugs to buy guns has the American public heard "I don't remember; in so many variations from a Republican.

I'm not worried about how Republicans would act if a Democrat used the Fog of Recall as an excuse.

I'm thinking, Who is going to take away his driver's license?

Civil War Theories and antebellum reasoning

I've experienced the Civil War first hand as a Damned Yankee who moved into Georgia back in the 1980's.

No, I did not get shot at unless I was shot at and missed. But, I've been broadsided with loose verbal cannons over the so called The Great Cause. Because 'you people' revised history.

Back on Damned Yankee. If you've never heard the term, Damned Yankee, it has a specific and unique Southern meaning. It's not about U.S. intervention in foreign nations or adobe walls painted with the slogan, 'Yankee go home!'

No, 'Yankees' are 'those people' from 'up north.' Robert E. Lee called the federal forces, 'those people.' So 'those people' became 'Yankees' over time. But, the 'damned' doesn't get added unless a 'Yankee' comes south for a vacation and stays. A Damned Yankee is one of 'those people' living next door.

So, soon after moving into the Atlanta Metro Area in 1986, a proud, Southern, Republican, woman called me a Damned Yankee and and explained it to me in the slow measured tones used to mask hatred and contempt.

So, I didn't fire the first verbal broadside, a proper lady fired first.

So, this 'Damned Yankee,' Me, gets to hear the many myths of Southern Heritage including the War of Northern Aggression, the Great Cause, and states rights as the overarching cause of our 'Civil War.'

I'm ranting as a proper Southerner from South Carolina politely revised these argument today. He planted as his source, the writing of a religious scholar responding to Timothy Egan's article in the New York Times.

As we politely mused aloud about the real cause of that unpleasantness, he asked me if maybe the North had a different reason for fighting than the South? Rather than answer yes or no, I played my Abraham Lincoln card. Well, there's no such thing as a card in any discussion but we'll talk about other types of fighting words another day.

Since Lincoln answered a lot of questions by telling 'homespun' stories, I made up my own story in reply to his question about why did the North fight since it had no slaves type of thing.

"Well, I knew this feller, who got himself into a fight and won. And, he did a pretty good job of winning as once a fight is started the only way to be sure of ending it is to win it. So after the fight, people asked him, 'Why did you whoop up on that feller?' My simple minded hero answered, 'Because he hit me first!'

What ever combination of reason drove the North in the Civil War, the South struck first to preserve, not slavery, but the right to breed human beings into life time and generational slavery based on race.

I don't know why we need to debate past the South's first punch.

Dueling Campaign ads

How I see dueling political ads, using 'Mike Parker' as the candidate's name.

Mike Parker has brown hair.

No, Mike Parker is bald.

I'm Mike Parker and I have black hair.

I've seen Mike Parker and he has gray hair.

"I've never tried to hide my gray hair."

Mike Parker is a member of a Hair Club cult.

"I've never been a member of the Hair Club for Men."

They're all the same when it comes to hair!

He has hair on his back!

He protects the environment by not washing his hair.

He had hair before he didn't have hair!

"I could shave my head on Fifth Avenue and still get elected."

Hair is not an issue to me.

I don't care and I'm going to vote for him anyway.

I'll never vote for him!

"I'm Mike Parker and I paid for this mess."

Senseless gun death. Girlfriend killed by graduation gift.

I hate posting this kind of stuff.

High school grad gets a gun as a reward. Wonderful award after 12 years of schooling. Nothing says, 'You're now a responsible member of a gun toting society" than a gun gift. I hope it was wrapped up in a coffin shaped box. They needed a coffin a few minutes later when 12 years of schooling proved not enough. Not enough.

Teen kills girlfriend

The story gets worse. His girlfriend, Lucina Luna, was shot in her own home. By her boyfriend. Who got a gun as a graduation gift. From her father.

Yes. 'I love you. Dad thinks you're great. Here's a gun for you. Now shoot me with it and seal our lives together. Forever.'

Fake news that makes ya go spew

In fake news ...

Yesterday, Trump said that he would be honored to meet with Kim Jong Un. When asked why, Trump said, “Because I’ve heard her music, and she sounds beautiful.”

House Republicans are again trying to repeal and replace Obamacare, even though they don’t have the votes. House Republicans defended themselves and said, “Please, it’s a soothing ritual that comforts us.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel says she is confident that fake news will not harm her chances in Germany’s election. In fact, Merkel is so confident she’s going to win, she’s not even going to campaign in Wisconsin.

Not fake news ...

Trump’s thinking the government should go on a break. How is this going to work? This is the federal government, not Ross and Rachel.

And, if you don't know Ross and Rachel ...

On Twitter this morning, Donald Trump suggested the U.S. needs a “good shutdown” to fix a deadlocked Congress. I don’t think Donald Trump realizes that the government is not like a computer. You can’t fix it by turning it off and turning it back on again.

Doesn't work with the Hostage Virus.

And, finally, for the sweet tooth in all of us,

A picture went viral of a man delivering a 30-gallon tub of Cinnabon frosting on a bus — or as we call him in my house, Santa Claus. You just know everyone on that bus was like, “Forget my stop, I’ve got to see how this ends.” 30 gallons — that’s enough for nearly two Cinnabons.