Problem solving, Southern Style

I had the best time at work today.

My last customer of the day wanted to pick up his special order without a receipt. Wonderful. He didn't know the part number.

I researched his purchase history and determined he had bought p/n 48719. He paid cash. More than a week ago.

I started searching for good ol' 48719 on the special order shelf. Not there. I looked through the paper orders for 48719. No orders which means the order was filled. Searched again through all the special orders. Nothing. Went to the Commercial department and searched the filled orders. Nothing.

Went to the Manager on Duty for suggestions. Go back and look again. If nothing, look in the special order items being returned. Small note: We returned special orders after holding them for 7 days.

No 48719. Looked at inventory. We do not stock 48719. We do not have one on order. It comes in a small transparent box.

So, my "I don't have a receipt for my special order" customer asked, "Can't you find it?"

Really, Dude? You've been watching me search and heard me ask for help.

"No, I can't find it."

So order me another one ...

Absolutely. While I'm trying to re-order his special order part ... "Oh, and have it delivered to the store closest to my home."

You bet, Asshole.

So, our system won't allow me to order his special order part without pre-payment which would mean he'd have to pay twice to get one part.

Explain that to him. Have Manager on Duty come help. He and I can't figure that out. Customer still calm and easy to work with. Doing okay.

Advise him: My name is Your Little Bitch and I will order this part, call him with an expected delivery date, and have it shipped to his favorite store.

Now the shit hits the fan. Manager on Duty is still trying to bypass the system to order the special order part without pre-payment. Three other customers are waiting in line. Newest employee is going out in the parking lot to provide a free service to a customer.

Not content with that, newest employee decides to solve the special order problem.

"Just order it and when it comes in, ship it to his favorite store, closer to his home."

I spewed split pea soup at him. Levitated 2 feet off of the floor, And held up a wooden cross while screaming, "I am not going to let three people solve one problem!"

I let gravity return me gracefully to a fully upright and standing on my own two feet position. Calmly, I wiped the split pea soup from my lips and covered the wooden cross with leather before securing it in a mahogany box.

Mr. Special Order smiled. Nodded his head in approval. Put one hand on my counter. "I'll check back in a few days. Maybe next week or year. I feel really good about you taking responsibility."

Having solved another solvable problem, I closed my ass out and went home where I'm loved and cherished.