Capitalism, Fascism, Communism, and Socialism explained by using cows

Capitalism is where your neighbor has 200 cows with a fence around them and sells the milk in town while your children eat shit and die.

Fascism is where your neighbor is Cliven Bundy who grazes his cows on your land and shoots your children.

Communism is where there are 200 cows, no education, no minimum wage, and your children die of natural causes. Or starve during economic sanctions enforced by Capitalist with cows.

Socialism is where Bernie owns 200 cows, your children help take care of the cows and get an education, milk, and a chance to own cows some day. With a contract that your children provide the next generation an education, milk, and a chance to own cows someday.

Weather story of the day

Yes, it's raining hard in Georgia.

'How hard is it raining?'

'Well, on my way to work, some guy in a tuxedo and top hat passed me on Atlanta Highway driving a deck chair from the Titanic.'

'Think that's bad? I was filling up at the QT and a river was running through the parking lot. These two guys in hip waders were trout fishing in the middle of it.'

'Yeah, I was there when the DNR officer arrested them for being in the river without a life jacket. Damn DNR is everywhere.'

'Yeah, it was just as well. The wake from that U-boat would have killed them for sure.'

'How do you know that?'

'I was bank fishing when it came by! Nearly capsized a F350 and a BMW. Wish it had got the BMW.'

'Which bank were you fishing? The Suntrust Bank or the Wells Fargo?'

'Oh, the Suntrust. I don't dare get close to the Wells this close to the end of the month. Hungry loan officers you know.'

'Oh yeah. I've hooked a few by accident. They used to be pretty fat. Not so much since '06. Ever try to cook one?'

'I thought about it once. They're not as tough as you think they are. Not many bones, either.'

'You're right about that. I've never seen one with a spine.'

'Uh huh. They do get bold in a group but all you have to do is yell, Underwriter! That makes them scatter.'

'Hey! Speaking of scatter, that U-boat. Was it the U571 or the U48?'

'It was the U48. U571 never goes north of the 404 in winter.'

'Well, global warming might change all that.'

'Yup. Even the DNR guy said that global warming might cause some changes in the winter and people's lives.'

'He don't know nothing. He's with the government. Global warming is a hoax designed to drive up the price of our coffee.'

'Yup. Before this global warming scare, I could get a cup of coffee, with real creamer, and all the sugar I wanted for less than a dollar!'

'In a real cup with a handle!'

'Free refills and a 'Do you want a cup to go' offer when I got ready to leave!'

'Now that we got this global warming thing going on, they serve coffee in painted blow foam cups. Without handles. And, some cardboard ring around them. No refills. And, the sugar is packed in tiny envelopes.'

'Damn right! People stand in line to get that sugar. Push on your elbow and make you spill half. Ought to make the paper dissolve. Just drop them in, stir, and there you go.'

'Oh forget that! We used to have that. Called them sugar cubes.'

'I didn't like them either. The only right way to sweeten coffee is with pure, granulated white sugar poured in a thick stream from one of them glass jars with the dome shaped tin tops.'

'Yeah, but those days are gone.'

'Yup. Nothing to do now but sit around and talk about the weather.'

'Yes, it's raining hard in Georgia.'

'How hard is it raining?'

'Well, on my way to work, some guy in a tuxedo and top hat passed me on Atlanta Highway driving a deck chair from the Titanic.'

'Think that's bad? I was filling up at the QT and a river was running through the parking lot. These two guys in hip waders were trout fishing in the middle of it.'

'Yeah, I was there when the DNR officer arrested them for being in the river without a life jacket. Damn DNR is everywhere.'

'Yeah, it was just as well. The wake from that U-boat would have killed them for sure.'

'How do you know that?'

'I was bank fishing when it came by! Nearly capsized a F350 and a BMW. Wish it had got the BMW.'

'Which bank were you fishing? The Suntrust Bank or the Wells Fargo?'

'Oh, the Suntrust. I don't dare get close to the Wells this close to the end of the month. Hungry loan officers you know.'

'Oh yeah. I've hooked a few by accident. They used to be pretty fat. Not so much since '06. Ever try to cook one?'

'I thought about it once. They're not as tough as you think they are. Not many bones, either.'

'You're right about that. I've never seen one with a spine.'

'Uh huh. They do get bold in a group but all you have to do is yell, Underwriter! That makes them scatter.'

'Hey! Speaking of scatter, that U-boat. Was it the U571 or the U48?'

'It was the U48. U571 never goes north of the 404 in winter.'

'Well, global warming might change all that.'

'Yup. Even the DNR guy said that global warming might cause some changes in the winter and people's lives.'

'He don't know nothing. He's with the government. Global warming is a hoax designed to drive up the price of our coffee.'

'Yup. Before this global warming scare, I could get a cup of coffee, with real creamer, and all the sugar I wanted for less than a dollar!'

'In a real cup with a handle!'

'Free refills and a 'Do you want a cup to go' offer when I got ready to leave!'

'Now that we got this global warming thing going on, they serve coffee in painted blow foam cups. Without handles. And, some cardboard ring around them. No refills. And, the sugar is packed in tiny envelopes.'

'Damn right! People stand in line to get that sugar. Push on your elbow and make you spill half. Ought to make the paper dissolve. Just drop them in, stir, and there you go.'

'Oh forget that! We used to have that. Called them sugar cubes.'

'I didn't like them either. The only right way to sweeten coffee is with pure, granulated white sugar poured in a thick stream from one of them glass jars with the dome shaped tin tops.'

'Yeah, but those days are gone.'

'Yup. Nothing to do now but sit around and talk about the weather.'

Myth of the Flat Screen

Imagine a world where few possess power.

The powerful would enslave the rest of the population using the Huge Flat Screen method.

Starting soon after birth, babies see their first flat screen and are bonded to it with food commercials. The entrancing flat screen shows colored patterns and play muted sounds similar to human voices. But, three times a day, the babies' flat screens show food. Always as the food is shown, the babies are fed.

No other images than food. No other stimulus. Visual representation of food triggering hunger. Actual feeding only after the food image. Then, back to the colored patterns and muted, voice like sounds.

But, the other needs of the babies come from unhappy nurses, perhaps failed IT help desk personnel or burned out Customer Service agents from ComCast. Cold, impersonal, sociopaths cleaning wet, stinky diapers only three times a day no matter the sanitation issues. Always just after the feeding regime.

As the babies grow, the bonding complicates. Colored, changing flat screen patterns resolve into pictures of food. Food comes. The food images blur back into changing patterns and muted, voice like sounds. Then, a clean butt.

This is all the babies know. Patterns. Muted sounds. Food images. Full belly. Clean asses. All from the flat panel.

So they grow up waiting for signals to eat, wipe their asses, and feel satisfied.

Really new economic thinking from ...The Institute for New Economic Thinking aka Dog Turd Ideals

Boy O Boy do I get a kick out of reading economic dog shit.

I waded through this file of dog shit very slowly because one slip might be fatal. Please follow me slowly.

Some banks failed in 1929. Some survived, crippled but still operating. In 1933, President Roosevelt, by proclamation, shut all the banks for a week, the famous in infamous Bank Holiday of March 4 -12, 1933.

Roosevelt, President less than 48 hours, acted to save gold and silver reserves and some other minor things. But, crippled banks didn't have enough cash to repay deposits, lost most or all capital, and remaining assets had little market value. So here's what was done.

Bank assets were re-valued. Instead of current market value; and in 1933 bank 'assets' were pretty much vault doors, adding machines, buildings; we puffed up assets to 'historic values.'

Imagine it this way. You bought a car 6 years ago and paid $30,000 for it. Today, you can't sell it for $10,000. But,your government says don't worry. We'll wave our magic wand and Poof! Your car is worth $30,000 again. Now quick, sell it before anyone catches on to the magic!

That's how we saved banking back in the Depression. A change in accounting. Pretty much dog shit, eh?

But, in reading this story, the Institute for New Economic Thinking wants us to try this magic again. Here's the last paragraph of the article.

The result "was that we had a financial system that was fully cleansed of its rot and the stage was set for a period of comparative financial stability in the decades ahead."

Comparative financial stability ... In 1933, we turned balance sheets into smoke and mirrors. And, the New Economic Thinking, today's dog turd idea, we should do this again.

Why in the hell does anyone want to do this? Well, they must own some 'assets' at market values. And, they want to sell them. Really, really want to sell them. For a profit. To some rubes.

How's that for new economic thinking?

SETI closes its doors saying, All intelligent Alien life died

In other news, all alien life on others planets have died leaving us the last earth. SETI announced in a press conference this evening.

"If there were any intelligent life forms existing in the galaxy, they would have found us and saved us from Donald Trump. Sadly, this is the ultimate truth of alien life. They died. We are all that's left. Now we go home and watch reruns of Gilligan’s Island."

We are now the oldest form and the youngest form of life in the universe. Best we join Gilligan in isolation.