Braves leaving Atlanta UPDATE!

The story on the former Atlanta Braves continue today.

As most of the world knows, Mortgomery has lured the Braves organization to Alabama. Atlanta Mayor Hussain Reedy has kissed them good bye and wished them the best of luck.

The Jawhjaw Goobernator, Don E. Deals, expressed his opinion that Mortgomery is just an extension of Atlanta. I couldn’t follow his logic. But, it seems we build and finance all the double wides in Alabama. As if that isn’t enough, we get half of our tax dollars through toll roads crossing the border. The other half comes from Uncle Sam.

But the breaking news isn’t from soon to be indicted Goobers. It’s those Tea Party Goobers.

They have a three part plan to stop the move.

1. Complain about it on all the talk radio stations.

2. Promise that un-Constitutional taxes will rise. Some where.

3. Nullification.

Self appointed Tea Party President, Doona Dana Dooly, gave a hand written statement to the media. It was written in cursive. Stating that the devil was in the details, she said, “They are going to raise property taxes.”

Or at least that’s what the handwriting experts think she wrote. It could have said, “Curds and Whey always raise bubble asses.”

For other rambling details see the story at Access North Jawhjah.

Braves leaving Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, State officials comment.

At a press conference today, when asked about the Braves moving to Mortgomery, Jawhjah Goobernator Don E. Deals, commented on the Veterans Day announcement.

“My administration counts this deal as one of the most successful yet. We were able to work under extremely difficult conditions in smoke filled bath rooms. Despite constant interruptions by hookers, exotic dancers, and other lobbyists, we kept the public uninformed and by passed needless second guessing.

“Timing of the announcement was critical. It could not be done during the ball season. We could not have it interrupt free agency offers for Brian McCayne. We can never punish the job producers like sports agents, entourages, and the Hair Club for Men.

“By announcing on Veterans Day, not only did we avoid the Gotcha Mainstream Media’s harassment, most God loving, patriotic, and decent Americans were giving thanks for their heroes.

“And that is how it should be. Some had to die in foreign lands, protecting our way of life and democratic government. While they died, business had to go on. Even if it had to be done in public.

“Going forward in Jawhjah, we expect to outsource more of our economic engines to Podunk places in public private partnerships provided profit permits.”

The Atlanta Braves are moving to Montgomery Alabama. Tomorrow.

The former Atlanta Braves announced a public private partnership with Mortgomery, Alabama in a press conference today.

A Braves spokes-model said, "Due to the increased healthcare costs under Obamacare, we have been forced to move the franchise to a third world country."

Mortgomery Mayor, Todd B. Strange, confirmed the move. "We have been in discussions via Twits for 5 hours. When the Braves' 19.995 year lease with Atlanta expires, they will leave Atlanta for Mortgomery. The final logistics are being worked out but we believe we have enough school buses to transport the team.

"Our prison system will supply the labor needed to refurbish our Little League Baseball diamond. We expect this free labor will save us enough to build a concession stand behind home plate. If not, we will be forced to increase sales taxes on the 32 oz. Big Gulp at the Hop In Convenience Stores throughout the state."

When asked about the limited accommodations in Third World countries like Alabama and Cobb County. the Braves spokes-model acknowledged the shortage of double wides. "We are working with another Third World country, New Orleans, to purchase previously loved, portable FEMA housing.

"The new stadium will will offer the best in box seating through corporate sponsorship with Ace Hardware. The boxed seating will be available in three levels:

Corrugated level with the standard green and white lawn chair, a bottle opener, and two paper plates.

Crate level with the folding camper chair, two Braves logo koozies, a bottle opener, 4 napkins, and two paper plates.

U-Haul level with two folding tree stand seats, an eight pound bag of ice, a combination bottle opener/can opener, two sets of plastic ware, and souvenir quality plastic plates."

Expect breaking updates via your personal Twits account.