A Braves spokes-model said, "Due to the increased healthcare costs under Obamacare, we have been forced to move the franchise to a third world country."
Mortgomery Mayor, Todd B. Strange, confirmed the move. "We have been in discussions via Twits for 5 hours. When the Braves' 19.995 year lease with Atlanta expires, they will leave Atlanta for Mortgomery. The final logistics are being worked out but we believe we have enough school buses to transport the team.
"Our prison system will supply the labor needed to refurbish our Little League Baseball diamond. We expect this free labor will save us enough to build a concession stand behind home plate. If not, we will be forced to increase sales taxes on the 32 oz. Big Gulp at the Hop In Convenience Stores throughout the state."
When asked about the limited accommodations in Third World countries like Alabama and Cobb County. the Braves spokes-model acknowledged the shortage of double wides. "We are working with another Third World country, New Orleans, to purchase previously loved, portable FEMA housing.
"The new stadium will will offer the best in box seating through corporate sponsorship with Ace Hardware. The boxed seating will be available in three levels:
Corrugated level with the standard green and white lawn chair, a bottle opener, and two paper plates.
Crate level with the folding camper chair, two Braves logo koozies, a bottle opener, 4 napkins, and two paper plates.
U-Haul level with two folding tree stand seats, an eight pound bag of ice, a combination bottle opener/can opener, two sets of plastic ware, and souvenir quality plastic plates."
Expect breaking updates via your personal Twits account.
No comments:
Post a Comment