1. Be sure they are not armed
2. Be sure you have trained medical professionals standing by
3. Don't start the argument in a state with Stand Your Ground in verbal arguments laws.
4. Be sure you are not related to the nut
5. Check their Facebook status during the friendly discussion
6. Keep your hands in plain sight
7. Make no sudden movements including the classic eye rolling
8. Have the sun at your back
9. Avoid standing in the middle of Main street at High Noon within sight of a clock tower
and last of all,
Beat them to death with a wet piece of French toast before they can draw their concealed carry weapon.
If you follow these instructions with a pure heart, you may survive.
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