Putin sent a dozen 'Order of Lenin' medals to the USA via FedEx. The Justice Department intercepted the package. The CIA refused to open and inspect the boxes. The package being on domestic soil, the job fell to the FBI.
Being smarter than a cat, the FBI refused to open the boxes saying, 'if we open the box, a cat dies. Nobody wants to kill a cat.'
A reporter shouting questions from the street corner nearest the potentially explosive boxes was arrested. Jelly Konrad, Republican leadership spokesperson denied any connection with the reporter's arrest. 'Yes,' she said, ' we know the reporter. He's a reporter. But, he wasn't reporting at the time of his arrest. This precludes the arrest from any violation of the reporting clause in the Constitution.'
Seance' Spicer twitted from under a rose bush that the reporter wasn't really a reporter because he wasn't reporting anything, just yelling about explosives. And, we can't have someone screaming bomb every time a box full of cats or maybe not full of cats is found by the Justice Department.
When asked why are there cats in the boxes, he repeated, 'There could be communist cats in the boxes. Maybe there aren't communist cats.'
While this exchange continued, a homeless man who looked a lot like Woody Harralson's dad, approached the boxes. Spectators, as no reporters could have been reporting what hadn't happened yet, said the man grabbed the boxes and began running down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Various reports by reporters reporting claimed the man had political motivations in stealing the boxes of cats that might not be in the boxes. Some heard him shout, "Wait 'til I get to the Grassy Knoll with this shit!"
A New England Patriot's linebacker who was not visiting the White House tackled the homeless man. That is when the boxes were dropped and broke open. The Capital police, the FBI, and Seance' Spicer threw their bodies over the broken boxes. Some reporters reported erroneously that Amy Shummer had been thrown onto the boxes. These reporters reported in a later report that it wasn't Amy. It was Melissa McCarthy.
Finally, a deep voice, perhaps that of a man speaking from the shadow filled area of the new parking garage said, 'It's not about pussy!'
We are awaiting a news Conference for pre-reporters at the Rose Garden. A preview of the topic confirms our worst fears.
'We cannot confirm or deny the existence of any communist cats at this time.'
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Trump order roses for himself
Republicans wouldn't send him candy. He gets no roses from the men he fucks. So, he has to buy his own.
From: Me
To: Me
Message: I love you.
From: Me
To: Me
Message: I love you.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Noose tightens on Putin and Republicans
Troubled? Troubled!?
A CEO of a family corporation worth billions, makes a hundred grand doing a reality TV show based on the tag line, "You're fired."
The Republicans nominate that CEO and elects him President of the United States. And, when that CEO acts like the tyrant in a Hollywood movie about all that can go wrong in a Banana Republic, all you have to say,
"I feel a little troubled by the second firing of a top federal law enforcement officer involved in the investigation of Russian election interference and international Republican collusion to seize our government."
Read the quote about being troubled while watching Democracy being beaten to death.
Six Reasons Comey might have been fired.
My Six Reasons Comey was fired.
1. Under oath, Comey admitted to be nauseated by Republicans in the White House.
2. Insecure old fart in the White House has to sleep in his New Jersey doghouse because his Russian bride said, 'No way, Jose!'
3. Presidents can't fire comedians on Saturday Night Live.
4. There's a secret war in Cambodia where we are illegally fighting Godless Communists.
5. There were no alien ships or bodies in Area 51.
6. Putin said, "Kim Jong Un told me, you have a little dick and can't get it up without Science. And, Comey told me it was true!"
A CEO of a family corporation worth billions, makes a hundred grand doing a reality TV show based on the tag line, "You're fired."
The Republicans nominate that CEO and elects him President of the United States. And, when that CEO acts like the tyrant in a Hollywood movie about all that can go wrong in a Banana Republic, all you have to say,
"I feel a little troubled by the second firing of a top federal law enforcement officer involved in the investigation of Russian election interference and international Republican collusion to seize our government."
Read the quote about being troubled while watching Democracy being beaten to death.
Six Reasons Comey might have been fired.
My Six Reasons Comey was fired.
1. Under oath, Comey admitted to be nauseated by Republicans in the White House.
2. Insecure old fart in the White House has to sleep in his New Jersey doghouse because his Russian bride said, 'No way, Jose!'
3. Presidents can't fire comedians on Saturday Night Live.
4. There's a secret war in Cambodia where we are illegally fighting Godless Communists.
5. There were no alien ships or bodies in Area 51.
6. Putin said, "Kim Jong Un told me, you have a little dick and can't get it up without Science. And, Comey told me it was true!"
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